Monday, August 04, 2008

A Different Feeling

I know I've abandoned my blog for the longest time possible! I know you guys have been asking this question, "your blog never update one!" over and over again. Okay Okay! I'll do it this instance!!!

I've been having mixed feelings lately, I don't know why... To think back, Meiling has already left Mus'art about a year, I refused to believe the fact that she has lost interest in band playing at that time... I couldn't accept it, I just couldn't... I didn't want to have the thought of her abandoning me but I just couldn't help having that kind of "played out" mentality.

It was definitely not her fault to leave that place and I understood how she felt at that time... I would have done the same thing if I were her... It actually took me sometime to face and accept reality that she will never ever come back again when WMC 2009 ends...

At that point of time, travelling seems to be the most excruciating part of the journey... There was simply no one to talk to... I felt very lonely at the time... It's very hard to get over someone whom you have gotten so used to... and suddenly, you have to live without it...

I missed the days how I used to wait for her to come down from her house like ALL the time, how we always go band practices really early do have brunch and self practices, how we often have late night talks after band practices with the rest and more late night talks reaching home, how we travelled in that idiotic 187 and "shake" all the way to and fro Mus'art...

Playing in Mus'art used to be one of the things I've enjoyed doing, it was a happier place in the past... but you can't expect everything to stay there intact and not change?!

And so for the first few months, I started to take a different route suggested by Tim before he went to Hawaii... As the months continued, I got used to the feeling of travelling alone... I didn't know how to describe the feeling at that time... but it seems that I've moved on the moment I choose to take that "route".

There was this time when dumb conflicts (I wouldn't even consider it as conflicts, more like children's bickering) in Mus'art irritated the hell out of me... I was so tired at that time, what I wanted was just to play music and not experience that aura of "unhappiness" in the band... I nearly had the urge to leave Mus'art and stop playing as there was nothing left for me to cherish... Nevertheless, I still stayed on aimlessly not knowing what to do... Stupid right?

Things started to change when Tim came back, I was so happy and glad that he was back in Singapore again! I was thankful that I got to know nice people like Xiao Ti & PK through him.

I knew Xiao Ti like WAY~~~ long ago when he came to Mus'art with ZiXian, but we were only acquaintance back then... I didn't even know he existed when we played the CNL concert together (I was so young then, 16+ okay?), the "terrifying" thing is that he was already in Mus'art for the "New York" concert! I think my eyes must have "tut ALOT of stamps" back then, perhaps I have selective vision + memory... Hehe... My first impression of Xiao was that he was very "DAO" and serious looking kind of person coz of his big head and "intellect" spectacles, cannot play play with him one... Ya... *eyes rolled*, but little did I know it was not what I expected of him! It was totally different! He is one crazy guy! (cannot praise too much or else he will fly to the skies) Hah!

PK's a really nice girl... Funny & random! She even plays the piano! I always wanted to learn it... PK! I saw your comments! I have sharp eyes! But I'm a noob in blogging... Maybe someone can help me to insert a nice looking tag board... wahaha... Erhem... *Hinting to the IT pro who showed me his works*

I felt that I knew Tim even better over these past few months... We were always so "polite" with each other back then... but it's so different now... haha... We can voice out our opinions and bitch with each other about our lives... Hahaha!

Now, I feel happier going to Mus'art... There's something for me to look forward to in the practices to come... "It is to meet up with them..." :)

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