Abandonment

The nightmare on thursday night came as traumatizing as it could be... A series of recurring nightmares revolving around the same topic... Abandonment... Casts were different and that made things even worse... I think I woke up about 20 times from that day's "sleep"... (if you would consider it as one)

My heart cringed everytime I woke up and that hurt... It hurts so bad... I could barely remember any of the dreams but I knew they were all negative... I felt so suffocated in the middle of the night but still forced myself back to sleep...

Felt so languished when I woke up... The blurry image I caught before waking up was this "fish-bone" like craving... The distance between each horizontal line widened as it goes down... And beside each horizontal line marked the word "pain"... It's derivative in a way that it depicts the "extension of pain" over a prolonged period and that the "pain" would linger even longer everytime I encounter it from time to time... I know it sounds so pessimistic but I couldn't stop myself from thinking it that way...

I was so disturbed the whole day that I couldn't focus... I was desperately fighting a neverending battle inside me to cheer myself up... It wasn't easy... The negative energies were just too overwhelming to withstand/overcome... I couldn't even force myself to feign a smile...

This dream seems like a reflection of my fears... The fear of being abandoned... I'm too comfortable in where I am now... The luxury of having too many friends not knowing when they will "leave" me...

I'm fortunate to have buddy physically there to relieve some of the negative energies... It wasn't easy... really wasn't... Glad that I feel alright now... I hate nightmares...

Dreammoods.com depicts "To dream that you are abandoned, suggests that it is time to leave behind past feelings and characteristics that are hindering your growth. Let go of your old attitudes. A more direct and literal interpretation of this dream is that you have a fear of being deserted, abandoned, or even betrayed. It may stem from a recent loss or a fear of losing a loved one. The fear of abandonment may manifest itself into your dream as part of the healing process and dealing with losing a loved one. It may also stem from unresolved feelings or problems from childhood. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are feeling neglected or that your feelings are being overlooked. Perhaps the dream is a metaphor that you need to approach life with "reckless abandon" and live more freely."

"To abandon others in your dream, suggests that you are overwhelmed by the problems and decisions in your life."