Guys! Was this 3 years or 2 years ago? OMG! Haha!
Good memories eh?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Random Photo
I know Hari Raya's coming soon...
Guys! Was this 3 years or 2 years ago? OMG! Haha!
Good memories eh?
Guys! Was this 3 years or 2 years ago? OMG! Haha!
Good memories eh?
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday
I didn't like that feeling...
It wasn't a very good day...
I was on a frenzy shunning away from people I knew on the streets...
It was literally CRAZY...
Acquaintances after acquaintances... Friends after friends...
It was nice meeting khaki again... We had a wonderful conversation...
Everybody changes from time to time... And yes they do...
We laughed and talked about the times spent during work in TCC...
I was only 17 back then...
Whatever that was said in Trattoria stays in Trattoria... ;)
I was on the way home and the meeting 'frenzy' didn't stop...
I met Sophia next...
We used to work together in TCC too...
We talked and updated each others' lives...
Sophia told me I've changed...
She told me I spoke differently...
She said "the Guobin in the past never use words like 'kan'..."
I left and she dropped me a message which shocked me...
"Guobin, I may not know what's going on in your life. You seem bothered or upset by some things. However, you must stay positive and jiayou! Take care and rest well!"
There's always highs and lows in people's lives and I guess now's not a very good period for me... It's like a grey area for me... It's neither here nor there... Everything seems so ambigious... I kinda hate that feeling...
I sometimes wished I didn't have to think so much but then again, I guess I can't seem to stop myself from doing so...
How can one be so heartless at avoiding situations he/she doesn't want to face?
Self-denial? Lack of courage? Or just simply uninterested?
I wish to understand...
P.S. To You, To Me... 干嘛老是用脸往冷屁股里帖。
It wasn't a very good day...
I was on a frenzy shunning away from people I knew on the streets...
It was literally CRAZY...
Acquaintances after acquaintances... Friends after friends...
It was nice meeting khaki again... We had a wonderful conversation...
Everybody changes from time to time... And yes they do...
We laughed and talked about the times spent during work in TCC...
I was only 17 back then...
Whatever that was said in Trattoria stays in Trattoria... ;)
I was on the way home and the meeting 'frenzy' didn't stop...
I met Sophia next...
We used to work together in TCC too...
We talked and updated each others' lives...
Sophia told me I've changed...
She told me I spoke differently...
She said "the Guobin in the past never use words like 'kan'..."
I left and she dropped me a message which shocked me...
"Guobin, I may not know what's going on in your life. You seem bothered or upset by some things. However, you must stay positive and jiayou! Take care and rest well!"
There's always highs and lows in people's lives and I guess now's not a very good period for me... It's like a grey area for me... It's neither here nor there... Everything seems so ambigious... I kinda hate that feeling...
I sometimes wished I didn't have to think so much but then again, I guess I can't seem to stop myself from doing so...
How can one be so heartless at avoiding situations he/she doesn't want to face?
Self-denial? Lack of courage? Or just simply uninterested?
I wish to understand...
P.S. To You, To Me... 干嘛老是用脸往冷屁股里帖。
Monday, August 23, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Weird
Tsunami
To see a tsunami in your dream, means that you are being overwhelmed by some repressed feeling or unconscious material that is rising up to the surface. You are experiencing some unhappiness and emotional instability in a waking situation.
Lock
To see a lock in your dream, signifies your inability to get what you want. You are being kept out of some activity or situation. Perhaps an aspect of yourself is locked up inside and it needs to be expressed.
Elevator
To dream that the elevator is out of order or that it is not letting you off, symbolizes that your emotions have gotten out of control. It may be a reflection of your life or your career. You are feeling stuck in some aspect of your life, whether it is your career, relationship, etc.
Staircase
To see a staircase in your dream, symbolizes change and transformation.
Chase
To dream that you are chasing someone, signifies that you are attempting to overcome a difficult goal or task. You may also be expressing some aggressive feelings toward others.
Ten
Ten corresponds to closure, great strength, and gains.
And that's the sequence of my dream...
Tsunami heading towards my way
Unable to take the lift as it was chained by locks
Ran up the stairs
Saw a girl running up the stairs and gave chase
Reached tenth floor
And the rest were a blur
Linking all the key words... It does surprisingly form a string of attached meanings... Interesting... Everything little detail I remember in the dream seems to be so well coordinated... It's like there's a problem and a resolution at the 'end'... So weird...
To see a tsunami in your dream, means that you are being overwhelmed by some repressed feeling or unconscious material that is rising up to the surface. You are experiencing some unhappiness and emotional instability in a waking situation.
Lock
To see a lock in your dream, signifies your inability to get what you want. You are being kept out of some activity or situation. Perhaps an aspect of yourself is locked up inside and it needs to be expressed.
Elevator
To dream that the elevator is out of order or that it is not letting you off, symbolizes that your emotions have gotten out of control. It may be a reflection of your life or your career. You are feeling stuck in some aspect of your life, whether it is your career, relationship, etc.
Staircase
To see a staircase in your dream, symbolizes change and transformation.
Chase
To dream that you are chasing someone, signifies that you are attempting to overcome a difficult goal or task. You may also be expressing some aggressive feelings toward others.
Ten
Ten corresponds to closure, great strength, and gains.
And that's the sequence of my dream...
Tsunami heading towards my way
Unable to take the lift as it was chained by locks
Ran up the stairs
Saw a girl running up the stairs and gave chase
Reached tenth floor
And the rest were a blur
Linking all the key words... It does surprisingly form a string of attached meanings... Interesting... Everything little detail I remember in the dream seems to be so well coordinated... It's like there's a problem and a resolution at the 'end'... So weird...
Saturday, August 07, 2010
3 Months Later
The card is finally in my hands after 3 months... Haha!
One of the pictures came off... >_<
But anyway, thanks so much PK! I like the card alot... :)
Monday, August 02, 2010
Late
My Ipod hit a certain song on my playlist...
I was thinking... "Oh! It's that song."
I sat alone and really listened to the lyrics...
My mind was in a state of shock when the song ended...
It felt as if the lyrics were punching my face with each word sang...
So that was what you were trying to convey to me back then?
It's already been more than a year...
Guess it doesn't matter to either of us anymore eh...
Thinking back, how could I've been so unobservant to not notice such details?
Stupid me... Guess it's better late than never...
I was thinking... "Oh! It's that song."
I sat alone and really listened to the lyrics...
My mind was in a state of shock when the song ended...
It felt as if the lyrics were punching my face with each word sang...
So that was what you were trying to convey to me back then?
It's already been more than a year...
Guess it doesn't matter to either of us anymore eh...
Thinking back, how could I've been so unobservant to not notice such details?
Stupid me... Guess it's better late than never...
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Convo
Haven't had any good conversations for awhile...
Sure had a good one this week...
Nice finding out traits of myself from other people...
Interesting...
Sure had a good one this week...
Nice finding out traits of myself from other people...
Interesting...
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Life
I seem to be living a life - the lives of others...
When I was young, I was living my parent's lives...
Other than the fond childhood memories, the rest of the time was spent meeting my parent's expectations...
I was brought up in an environment whereby comparison was classified as a "norm" in the family tree...
I hated every minute of studying, all I wanted to do was having fun doing the things I liked...
When comparison was placed between me and my cousins, mine was considered mediocre...
My pride took a toll with every comparison, every harsh comment made...
It hurts and it really did...
I ignored every criticism targeted at me and procrastinated...
Life moved on and I was held back...
Band was my everything back then...
I was living the life of my conductors...
The wonders of music was beautifully fabricated... My naive self sometimes envied the suave actions of a conductor directing the band...
Sadly, band was more complicated than its music...
There were misleads, misunderstandings, misuse and tons of conflicts...
Best friends became enemies, betrayal was common back then...
The music was clouded by nonsensical stuff like this...
I was so involved in the "politics" that none of the stuff mattered...
I graduated and work became an integral part of my life...
Work pulled me out from band and my life moved on again...
TCC was my first ever job... I remembered I was very motivated in the things I do...
Again, I was living the lives of others... I lived to impress my superiors...
For the course of the entire 2.5 years of working as a part-timer in TCC, I was never late, I never took any MCs or even backed off from work due to prior commitments... To think back, none mattered... Nobody cared... I got no raise with my pathetic pay (I was holding up a 2nd job at that time) and I left feeling nothing... No qualms nor compunction... However, I've made genuine friends which I have kept contact with up till today...
During my time in Poly, I was juggling between work and studies... I never had enough time for myself and slogged as hard as I could remember... Mondays to Saturdays were work work work work work and more work... Life was hard and I worked to pay off school fees... I was thankful with my 2nd job because it made me realised something... Local degree is imperative in order to survive in the current economy... Reality hit so hard when I see "lost" and "listless" students enrolling into the private institution I was working in... Their grades were not cut up for local universities and *viola* that's where they end up in... Towards the end of my Poly journey, I once again lived the life of others... I squeezed out every pathetic time of mine and spread it evenly to my friends... To think back, I've never really lived my own life... I can't possibly get back the lost time "wasted"...
Ironically, NS seems to lock down time restricting my schedules... Am I living my life? Not really... Because I'm sadly still living the lives of others... I talked to Nips just now... It makes me think if it's worth the while doing all this to get the likings of other people... To get acceptance...
Am I doing this because I don't want others to dislike me? I seriously don't know... I plucked up the courage and got the burden off of what's troubling me for months... But what's the point? I seem to still be doing things maybe other people don't even care... Maybe I should just stop trying to be the mister nice dumb guy everybody perceives me as...
And that's the life of Mr. Su signed, sealed and delivered sincerely to your doorsteps...
When I was young, I was living my parent's lives...
Other than the fond childhood memories, the rest of the time was spent meeting my parent's expectations...
I was brought up in an environment whereby comparison was classified as a "norm" in the family tree...
I hated every minute of studying, all I wanted to do was having fun doing the things I liked...
When comparison was placed between me and my cousins, mine was considered mediocre...
My pride took a toll with every comparison, every harsh comment made...
It hurts and it really did...
I ignored every criticism targeted at me and procrastinated...
Life moved on and I was held back...
Band was my everything back then...
I was living the life of my conductors...
The wonders of music was beautifully fabricated... My naive self sometimes envied the suave actions of a conductor directing the band...
Sadly, band was more complicated than its music...
There were misleads, misunderstandings, misuse and tons of conflicts...
Best friends became enemies, betrayal was common back then...
The music was clouded by nonsensical stuff like this...
I was so involved in the "politics" that none of the stuff mattered...
I graduated and work became an integral part of my life...
Work pulled me out from band and my life moved on again...
TCC was my first ever job... I remembered I was very motivated in the things I do...
Again, I was living the lives of others... I lived to impress my superiors...
For the course of the entire 2.5 years of working as a part-timer in TCC, I was never late, I never took any MCs or even backed off from work due to prior commitments... To think back, none mattered... Nobody cared... I got no raise with my pathetic pay (I was holding up a 2nd job at that time) and I left feeling nothing... No qualms nor compunction... However, I've made genuine friends which I have kept contact with up till today...
During my time in Poly, I was juggling between work and studies... I never had enough time for myself and slogged as hard as I could remember... Mondays to Saturdays were work work work work work and more work... Life was hard and I worked to pay off school fees... I was thankful with my 2nd job because it made me realised something... Local degree is imperative in order to survive in the current economy... Reality hit so hard when I see "lost" and "listless" students enrolling into the private institution I was working in... Their grades were not cut up for local universities and *viola* that's where they end up in... Towards the end of my Poly journey, I once again lived the life of others... I squeezed out every pathetic time of mine and spread it evenly to my friends... To think back, I've never really lived my own life... I can't possibly get back the lost time "wasted"...
Ironically, NS seems to lock down time restricting my schedules... Am I living my life? Not really... Because I'm sadly still living the lives of others... I talked to Nips just now... It makes me think if it's worth the while doing all this to get the likings of other people... To get acceptance...
Am I doing this because I don't want others to dislike me? I seriously don't know... I plucked up the courage and got the burden off of what's troubling me for months... But what's the point? I seem to still be doing things maybe other people don't even care... Maybe I should just stop trying to be the mister nice dumb guy everybody perceives me as...
And that's the life of Mr. Su signed, sealed and delivered sincerely to your doorsteps...
Friday, July 23, 2010
Crazy Week
the touch of a healing wind
the brush of an embracing warmth
the unsounded apprehension
the restricted solicitude
I can't stop laughing when 听~海哭的声音 was heard...
Guess that's one of the little things that will stay intact with me forever...
the brush of an embracing warmth
the unsounded apprehension
the restricted solicitude
I can't stop laughing when 听~海哭的声音 was heard...
Guess that's one of the little things that will stay intact with me forever...
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Dreams... Again
Yesterday's Dream
Rain
To see and hear rain falling, symbolizes forgiveness and grace. Falling rain is also a metaphor for tears, crying and sadness. Alternatively, rain symbolizes fertility and renewal. If you get wet from the rain, then it indicates cleaning from your troubles and problems.
To dream that you are watching the rain from a window, indicates that spiritual ideas and insights are being brought to your awareness. It may also symbolize fortune and love.
To hear rain tapping on the roof, denotes spiritual ideas coming to fruition in your mind.
Today's Dream
Worm
To see a worm in your dream, represents weakness, degradation, filth and general negativity. You have a very low opinion of yourself or of someone in your life. The dream may also relate to self-esteem issues or a skewed self image. Alternatively, dreaming of a worm may be a metaphor for someone who is untrustworthy or slick.
To dream that the worm is crawling on your body, indicates that you feel someone around you is taking advantage of you and feeding off your kind heartedness. (I did remember a worm crawling on me and it hurts... It was like it was leeching on me...)
Earthworm
To see an earthworm in your dream, indicates that you need to go deep into your unconscious in order to unearth your hidden feelings and desires. Alternatively, earthworms symbolize little things that can be beneficial for your growth and well-being. It also represents renewal. Perhaps you need to restore some aspect of yourself.
Problem is... I don't know what type of worm it was?
Apparently, dreammoods.com segments different types of worms; leads to different interpretations...
Rain
To see and hear rain falling, symbolizes forgiveness and grace. Falling rain is also a metaphor for tears, crying and sadness. Alternatively, rain symbolizes fertility and renewal. If you get wet from the rain, then it indicates cleaning from your troubles and problems.
To dream that you are watching the rain from a window, indicates that spiritual ideas and insights are being brought to your awareness. It may also symbolize fortune and love.
To hear rain tapping on the roof, denotes spiritual ideas coming to fruition in your mind.
Today's Dream
Worm
To see a worm in your dream, represents weakness, degradation, filth and general negativity. You have a very low opinion of yourself or of someone in your life. The dream may also relate to self-esteem issues or a skewed self image. Alternatively, dreaming of a worm may be a metaphor for someone who is untrustworthy or slick.
To dream that the worm is crawling on your body, indicates that you feel someone around you is taking advantage of you and feeding off your kind heartedness. (I did remember a worm crawling on me and it hurts... It was like it was leeching on me...)
Earthworm
To see an earthworm in your dream, indicates that you need to go deep into your unconscious in order to unearth your hidden feelings and desires. Alternatively, earthworms symbolize little things that can be beneficial for your growth and well-being. It also represents renewal. Perhaps you need to restore some aspect of yourself.
Problem is... I don't know what type of worm it was?
Apparently, dreammoods.com segments different types of worms; leads to different interpretations...
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The Holiday
This has to be the BEST romantic comedy film I've ever watched!
There was a segment in the movie whereby Iris mentioned this to Miles, "because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and suprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you."
WOW!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Expectations
every little comment irks me...
it irks me even more when expectations are placed at different levels...
i tell myself i should probably just let it go...
because whatever i do, there's nothing i can change...
i can't place a knife up one's throat, i can't force someone into submission...
i'm too tired to do anything...
i think i should just go to bed and stop thinking about it...
because nothing's going to change...
goodnight...
it irks me even more when expectations are placed at different levels...
i tell myself i should probably just let it go...
because whatever i do, there's nothing i can change...
i can't place a knife up one's throat, i can't force someone into submission...
i'm too tired to do anything...
i think i should just go to bed and stop thinking about it...
because nothing's going to change...
goodnight...
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