It feels weird to lie... I hate to lie when I could actually tell the truth... There's a badminton match organised by the class tomorrow but I actually told them I have something on even though I was free at that time... I couldn't tell them that I didn't felt like going, perhaps its to save trouble from all the commotion...
I couldn't find out why being myself in class seems impossible... Was I being cold towards them or did I choose to ostracize myself from other people? It seems tough to grasp the answer... My life seems to follow a ''strategic'' routine... classes starts, classes ends... heading back home... do my homework... turn in for the other day... The only days I anticpate are Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays... It is the only time where I seem to be myself... the crazy, talkative, sarcastic me...
I happen to saw a TV programme that relates to people that studying is the most enjoyable and pleasant thing a person could do in their early ages... Is it a propaganda? To me... it is... Its so bored to study... drowning myself with piles of heavy books that feels like tons... they are so DISGUSTING!!! I hate books... why does Singapore emphasize on the importance of education where there is so many things other people could actually excel in? In Singapore, it feels like everything is already planned before a birth of a child... you head to kindergarten, primary school, secondary school... Poly/JC/NAFA (parents wouldn't allow me to choose that) ... yup... so I only left with Poly as I have more freedom in there... Already half of a life-time is sacrificed for the sake of studying... What a waste if a person is unable to pass his or her exams...
I believe this quote that I have always seems to be true... ''Humans are wretched.'' Yes... I'm one of them... when I have a long holiday break... I'll wish to go back to school and study... when I go back to school... I'll wish I could have a long holiday break... Haha... this is the ironic part about humans... there's always a sense of ''urge'' to greediness... and when you get hold of the stuff you want... you'll regret of the opportunity cost... Why is there always regretment? WHY???
Talk about boredom... I'm really getting it... I'm so bored!!! How I wish I could get away from Singapore to appease my uncertainties!!! I need a getaway trip... soon... and I mean it!!!
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