SICK LAUGH-ABLE JOKES

I was cleaning up Marcus stuff and I found this a piece of paper filled with jokes... I'll show you guys what is it...

1) 3 guys were introduced to a girl: Hi, I'm Peter not a saint. I'm Paul not a Pope. I'm John not a Baptist. The girl replied: Hi! I'm Mary not a Virgin.

2) What was the cause of the break up between Prince Charles and Lady D? Lady D discovers that not all rulers have 12 inches.

3) OLD MAN: Can you give me an erection? FAITH HEALER: I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer, but I'm sorry I cannot raise the dead.

4) 2 employees were caught naked and having sex in the office by the guard. GUARD: Aha! Violating company rules! Man: What rule? GUARD: Not wearing uniforms.

5) What is the difference between Biology and Sociology? A: If the baby looks like the father, that is biology. If he looks like the neighbour, that's sociology.

6) Define Impotence? ... Nature's way of saying "NO HARD FEELINGS"

7) A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

8) At the movie house. GIRL: Honey, the man beside me is masturbating. BF: just ignore him dear. GIRL: I can't. He's using my hand!!!

Save the best for the last! Here it goes!

9) Why was the 2 piece bikini invented?

To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

Hope you guys have a good laugh! :) Hehehe...