31st October 2008

And yesterday marked the last day of my 10 week attachment at Prudential... Time seemed to fly really fast... Too fast for me to even comprehend or even catch a breath...

Earlier on, my liaison officer came to the office and dropped 2 exploding news to me, but I'm not even sure to be happy or not... Didn't really had any mood to listen to her anyway... then a minute ago, I was thinking how to say goodbye to Marcus as the conversation didn't seem to come to a nice spot where I could put an end to it... Before I could even remember, I found myself literally "running" towards the mrt station to meet ym before heading for the concert... and God were we squashed like packed sardine sandwiches in the train towards Raffles Place...

Bought a tea/coffee plunger as a farewell gift... Something I knew he will defintely use it for good...


This was taken by Boon Peng... The picture came out pretty good... courtesy from my Panasonic VS6... Till now, I still don't understand why my colleagues say we had the "Father-Son Look", the "Brother Look", able to "Speak Alike"... So on and so forth...


Angeline told me to take a photo with the client's policy that were piling up like mad, it was way too high that I had to transfer half of it into the cabinet... What you've just seen was only 10% of it...


I'm seriously glad that I was able to complete everything that was assigned to me... Really worked my ass off... If its not for the skipped lunches, the OTs... I may not be able to finish it within this 10 weeks...

I felt really sad leaving the place, but what Tim said was right... I should leave the place at my highest point... and I think I did... All the wonderful memories... the neverending teabreaks... All I could say was... I really enjoyed every single moment being there...

This 10 weeks have really changed my mindset in alot of ways... I seriously don't see my old self anymore... For good or for worst, we are constantly changing... I hope others still see me for who I am...

I have a really bad premonition going back to school... I know something is going to happen... Something bad... I know this last semester is not going to be so smooth sailing as it did in the past... Maybe alot of dramas would be unfolded to test the friendship between my polymates... Well... Let's see... I shall await...

Work

For some reason, everyone was feeling hysterical at work... We were making a topic out of kissing and I was dragged into the picture... Everyone laughed so loudly that even the BIG boss came out to join in the fun...

Then Lai Peng said this... "Guobin ah! The laughs would not be the same without you being around anymore."

I kept quiet...

Retarded Retard

Ending it as if it were a dream...
Stopped like it was never meant to begin...

Still Dealing With It

When separation begins, it continues... and never stops... I've always hated the feeling of dealing with separation... as time sheds by, "inevitability" becomes stronger... humans live to experience this excruciating process...

Sometimes I just wish I was stronger and tougher to deal with this... I've been there, done that so many times... but sometimes, I just can't seem to get pass my own emotions... I wish I could bury and abandon them... But it never fails to find its way back to haunt me...

Bin... rule your own emotions, don't let them rule you...

That's It!

After 4 hours of meeting at work, all I can say is I'm so not going to have anything to do with IT stuff anymore... Mentally exhausting... Haven't had anything since morning... Haiz...

Did I mention that the IT personnel/teacher I had meeting with looks like YM in his 40s? LOL!

Feelings are important

Another one I've found... Damn is this meaningful...

I always thought that
what I do each day
is so vital
what I say each day
is so necessary
what I learn each day
is so stimulating
but I have found out that
what I feel each day
is more important
than anything else
and my love for you
is the deepest feeling I have
Thank you for your love
It is the most important and
beautiful part of my life

SICK LAUGH-ABLE JOKES

I was cleaning up Marcus stuff and I found this a piece of paper filled with jokes... I'll show you guys what is it...

1) 3 guys were introduced to a girl: Hi, I'm Peter not a saint. I'm Paul not a Pope. I'm John not a Baptist. The girl replied: Hi! I'm Mary not a Virgin.

2) What was the cause of the break up between Prince Charles and Lady D? Lady D discovers that not all rulers have 12 inches.

3) OLD MAN: Can you give me an erection? FAITH HEALER: I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer, but I'm sorry I cannot raise the dead.

4) 2 employees were caught naked and having sex in the office by the guard. GUARD: Aha! Violating company rules! Man: What rule? GUARD: Not wearing uniforms.

5) What is the difference between Biology and Sociology? A: If the baby looks like the father, that is biology. If he looks like the neighbour, that's sociology.

6) Define Impotence? ... Nature's way of saying "NO HARD FEELINGS"

7) A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

8) At the movie house. GIRL: Honey, the man beside me is masturbating. BF: just ignore him dear. GIRL: I can't. He's using my hand!!!

Save the best for the last! Here it goes!

9) Why was the 2 piece bikini invented?

To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

Hope you guys have a good laugh! :) Hehehe...

IRRITAAAAAATING!!!! VER. 2

そばにいて… says:
sultry is quite a strong word to use actually

p*kaE says:
woots

p*kaE says:
realise non of e girls are like that lol

p*kaE says:
will probably end up looking ridiculous if attempting to look sultry

p*kaE says:
hahhaha!

p*kaE says:
only bin can pull it off

p*kaE says:
LOL

そばにいて… says:
WEI!

そばにいて… says:
thnks ah!

IRRITAAAAAATING!!!!

"U"-Nick ©: Life would be much easier if I had the source code. says:
here comes the retarded

tim says:
all rise

"U"-Nick ©: Life would be much easier if I had the source code. says:
*bow*

"U"-Nick ©: Life would be much easier if I had the source code. says:
take your seat

tim says:
(gosh really the retarded sia)

tim says:
(he doesnt speak)

"U"-Nick ©: Life would be much easier if I had the source code. says:
he's retarded rem?..

"U"-Nick ©: Life would be much easier if I had the source code. says:
takes awhile

tim says:
*clears throat. seated.

そばにいて… says:
WEI!

tim says:
your honour

"U"-Nick ©: Life would be much easier if I had the source code. says:
see

tim says:
(oh gosh damn retarded sia)

:)

The game was secondary... What matters most was the company... Love you guys! :)

Gastric

Gastric hurt so bad yesterday... This is really the first time I'm experiencing this... The pain got even worse in the evening... I was forced to stop what I was doing and dragged myself to hide in the toilet coz I didn't want to alarm Marcus... He will definitely make a big hoo-haa out of it...

Couldn't seem to stand up as it was hurting so badly... I cuddled myself to suppress the pain hoping it would go away... 15 minutes went past but nothing felt right... Forced myself to stand up and get back to work... Luckily, the pain subsided towards the end of the work... Man... it was excruciating...

Exclusively for you...

You said you couldn't draw to vent the emotions like I do... So I did it on your behalf... :) Cheer up ya! and smile!!! :) Hope this picture serves its purpose and does its magic!

If you look closely into the faces of those around you, you'll catch a certain glimpse of a green-eyed monster. And then you’ll see the envy they have for you... how do you deal with such jealousy? There are many ways… but the best… is to simply share what you have…

Please

This ought to be some obnoxious weird coincidence....

1)Normally, I shut off my handphone during my sleep; this was to conserve energy as the battery life drains off quickly... I didn't do so today...

2)I woke up as I was thristy, went to catch a cup of water, it was 4am in the morning... When I came back, the handphone started to ring... It was a message alert...

It suddenly felt so cold and chilly in the morning... more like the coldness was coming from the inside than it was from the outside... I'm not sure why... After exchanging a few messages, I couldn't seem to put myself to sleep... it took me some time... it did...

Please don't be like this... please...

Abyss

After drawing manga for so many years... The eyes of one formulate the entire body, the entire expression of a character... I chose to draw this character because of her eyes... The eyes speak a thousand words... and yes... it was clouded with sorrow and desperation... was kinda the feeling I wanted to capture when I was down... I thought she represented how I felt at that time...

Surprisingly, the more I drew, the feeling just went away... I think drawing is one of the ways I vent my emotions... The emotions that I drew was kinda sealed in the drawing once the picture was done... Now I know why I had no worries or problems back in the days when I was younger... I seemed to draw everyday... I shall continue this hobby that was once forgotten...

And now, rubbish bin is back in action! I mean full force ya! :) Thanks for all the concerns... you guys know who you are ;) Xiao Ti, you can safekeep the coloured coffin for now... who knows you may be the first to use it? :P

:(

I was THIS close to skipping my part time work today... Thinking back, I'm glad I didn't abandon my duties... I will occupy myself with work, and I shall work till the day I fall apart...

Sorry PK... let's meet up some other time okay? :)

時光暫停

I spaced out hearing this song... yes.. true as the title says... It felt like my time stopped at that short span of 5 mins... I feel...

Make My Day

Being caught up in memories is a privilege reserved for people... Being free of the weight of one's past is a privilege reserved for those with no memories... Okay! I know I always come out with crappy quotes...

4 years is really fast eh...


The conversations, the talks...


Some friendships need years to cultivate... Some takes only hours...


Now I know why BC's shirt is always so BIG! His shoulders are like laundry h*****s... :P


And yes, he does the most random thing in pictures... GOSH!


And someone is missing... XIAO TI! WHERE ARE YOU??? AND "INNOCENT" JAMA?

.

I'm feeling extremely desolated and tired for some reasons... Having nightmares just aggravate matters... How sickening is it to dream and experience visions of your dad getting into a car accident?

I'm not sure what the dream is trying to tell me... One thing for sure, it doesn't seem very encouraging...

In reality, we cant seem to get long with each other... Sometimes, you just can't force the same magnetic poles to attract... The more you do, the worse it gets... I am not the type of accommodating son like my brother, I'm just a stubborn bullhead when I think I'm right about my own views... But still, no one would want their parents to befall into such misfortune...

I'm feeling shitty right now... Damn it! Slap myself!


Your message came at the right time... Thanks YM... :)

Do you still want to be served?

Waiter: "Are you finished, sir?"

This is what I will say...

Me: "No, I have not expired. I am still alive. BUT as you can see, I have finished my meal and I have set my fork and spoon together on the plate showing it to be so ready to take away for the last 10 minutes." :)

At Last

I'm so glad I got the chance to meet 'khaki' again... how long has it been? More than a year? Brings back wonderful memories we had back then working at TCC... Cleaning the same table... Crapping out of boredom... Sensing the rain coming with her backache and my running nose... How great was that?

But still, life moves on as it would be...

Threads of Fate

When different lives and people you've never ever imagined you will meet in your entire lifespan, crossed paths with you... you can't stop but to think of these reasons...

Why is this phenomenon happening? Then you start to ponder on the possibilities... can this be fate? Subsequently, you start thinking of that person... thinking what the person is doing at that instance... slowly, you contemplate... out of which, part of these "feelings" are contributed to regret... you start asking yourself... "why? why didn't I get to know this person earlier?"

The questions remained unanswered...

Something to share...

No matter how many times I've watched these videos... I still think this 2 pairs of couple kickass BIG time! Just HOT HOT HOT! *Sizzle* Ouch...

Lacey & Danny on Samba


Sabra & Dominic on HipHop

More Disturbing Conversations

Disturbing Conversation

桑田佳祐大好きだよ! says:
ya like DIgusting rite?

E5K1M0 says:
lik NO. it's totally diSgusting.

E5K1M0 says:
>.<

桑田佳祐大好きだよ! says:
*slap slap*

桑田佳祐大好きだよ! says:
and STOP using the sign!!!

E5K1M0 says:
>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<

桑田佳祐大好きだよ! says:
|||||||||||||||||||||||

E5K1M0 says:
>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<

桑田佳祐大好きだよ! says:
||| u so totally DIgusting!

桑田佳祐大好きだよ! says:
like TOTALLY

E5K1M0 says:
*ignores*

E5K1M0 says:
>.<

桑田佳祐大好きだよ! says:
slap urself!

E5K1M0 says:
*ignore*

E5K1M0 says:
bad bin.

E5K1M0 says:
没大没小

Visits

Had fun at Jama's and FatTim's house... Yummy food... Got to know even MORE NUS people... The desire to get into a decent university gets even stronger... Kinda regretted the days where I could have worked harder... But again, there's no point brooding over the past...

With Uncle YM & FatTim


Fooling around with Xiao Ti


This picture was taken quite abrupt... But it's nice! I like it...


Favourite picture of the day!

Very Good Bands

Riverdance by bunch of crazy kids... VERY ENTERTAINING


Year of the Dragon Finale


Divine Comedy - Inferno


Armenian Dances

忘れない

Why do I always recall the dreams I had when I'm awake? They are so real... Anything you've not thought of, happens in that "world". The possibilities are infinite... At that instance, it felt like he wasn't dead at all... What wishful thinking... The process of waking up hits me hard... It just shows that there's nothing I can do to bring him back again...

DIgusting

Wretched souls should be cursed... My brother just sent me the photo of his ex and the new boyfriend while I was at work... DIgusting... My brother is even more pissed than I am now... Why do such people exist? Sometimes, life is so unfair...

Keisuke Kuwata

Some funny clips from his advertisement... Enjoy!

Looking Back

You work to prevent yourself from thinking too much...
You work because you are so used to having money by your side...
You work because you think you can get contentment out from your own achievements...


Looking back... You are just an empty vessel living in your own void...

A Free Trip To....

I had the most surreal dream ever... The moment I woke up, flashes of the dream revolved around my mind... It seems that I was living in this "water house" that looked like those from Maldives... The vision kinda potrayed something like this...



I was resting on the wooden platform looking across the ocean... Everything seemed so real... The scenery was mesmerizing... I could literally "touch" the cooling water... As the boats rowed by, I shut my eyes and listened to the gentle breeze whistling into my ears...

I sat down at the edge of the "water house" looking at the water... it was crystal clear... I kicked the water like some little kid as my leg was just inches away from the water, the moment I had contact with the water, it felt real... I wished the dream could have lasted longer(I didn't really want to wake up either)... Haven't had such a nice dream before... *Must have been Keisuke Kuwata's song...*

Shirley Phelps

This woman makes me sick... Her beliefs and teachings are seriously insane and controversial... Wonder which planet she lives in... Seeing videos of her just makes me fume... Why do such people exist in this world? One word for her family... TWISTED!

On Fox TV LIVE


On Tyra Bank Show

Thank You

Was searching high and low for a paypal user to help me purchase a CD I've long been searching for... It's Keisuke Kuwata's singles collection! Didn't expect I already have a paypal user right beside me all this while... Thanks Marcus...

Gordon Ramsay ROCKS!

Tim0 showed me this while I was at work... This is so freaking cute... Reminds me whether there'll be any Hell's Kitchen 4 or not... Hmm... I miss watching Gordon Ramsay on TV insulting the chefs and scolding the "F" word... It's so cool!

39.2

Jie... take care of yourself...

$$$ or Life

Heard from Marcus that Kwan(one of the 4 Managers) wants to hire me to do his admin work after office hours... OMG... I think I should reject his offer... I seriously need a life... Am already deprived from my beauty sleep/rest... I need sometime for my friends as well as me, myself and I!

If he is keen, I'll help him after I graduate from NYP... That's provided he still wants me... Hehehe...

Sidenote~ There's this pretty lady call Evelyn that commented that I look younger than my age... OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO~ Heard that Nick Xiao Ti!

What Does He See In Me?

Sometimes I wondered what does he see in me... If its not for the National Service next year, I would have been a personal assistant for a banker... A position MANY have wished and yearned for... It pays freaking well... I seriously don't know what makes him think that I'm capable of taking up that job... He is probably the best supervisor I can ever wished for...

~No Logic~

I seriously don't know why my grades are like this! Can't believe I was feeling so depressed back then when I screwed up the PR and MR paper... I was so sure that both papers got deducted at least 20 marks... but the input doesn't seem to equate the output... Haha... I'm comtemplating too much... I should be happy about it. :)

-_-|||

Goodness Gracious! I'm 6 months too!!! What the hell!

First Time

Something terrible happened to my brother... He started chatting with me while I was working... Suddenly, he led out an abrupt news... Something I wasn't prepared at all... He got dumped by his girlfriend...

I was so stunned to utter anything at that point of time... Apparently, the girlfriend fell for some rich Taiwan guy studying with her at Perth... Haiz... This happens when you are in a long distance relationship... Prone to loneliness, then vulnerability kicks in...

I don't know how to console my brother... I know he's strong enough to move on although the pain is hurting him every second... This is the first time.... The first time I feel sad for him... I know you guys may deem me as a heartless person... But... we just weren't that close to each other in the first place... just... too busy with our own lives... Haiz...

4 years of effort maintaining this relationship... Reduced to none...

Cognitive Dissonance

This is the first time I'm experiencing cognitive dissonance! Did I make the right choice? My PSP Slim seems to be abit too pricey as compared to the rest... I hope the shop is not a scam! :(

MY HARD EARN $$$$$!

Rendezvous

Decided to try out the Nasi Padang at Rendezvous Hotel suggested by Xiao Ti last time... The food is seriously not bad... The curry is very nice... For some reason, the bill summed up to approximately $50... Just the 2 of us only! Hahaha....

We subsequently headed to the bar in the hotel to chill out... Fujita-san ordered something new for me... Remy Martin X.O. This drink is heaven! Smells and tastes like butter scotch/toffee... Apparently, the alcohol content is about 45%! Haha...



Stranded in deep thought... This photo is well taken!


Next week shall be our last dinner... Till next year Fujita-san!

Picture Of The Day

Scary picture of Xiao Ti shredding the Tissue Prata into bits and pieces... Look at his expression! Horrifying!

Contented

It feels good to have old friends calling up saying they want to meet up with you after so long... I didn't know I still have a place in other people's hearts... Feels.... just contented... :)

An Evening With Fujita-san

Monday was the day of his arrival... We had plans of meeting up like the way we usually did in the past... However, I was too absentminded this time and had missed out the flight details... I took chances as my intuition told me to stay at work and wait for his phone call... And yes, it did... my handphone rang... He called... He just arrived in Singapore...

We met at the same hotel, the same place... kinda dejavu feeling... Chatted awhile in the hotel room and went for our dinner... Took him to a coffeeshop at Yishun that sells decent "Chu Chao"... He enjoyed the food so much... Haha... ~ A side note ~ Xiao Ti actually got the chance to meet him... What coincidence... the introduction was just hilarious... Haha...

During the conversation, we discussed about the possible plans if he does get the position in SSO... He actually wanted me to teach him chinese while he be my japanese teacher... Kinda cool eh... Haha... What's more shocking is that he even had the intention to have a sit-in session with Mus'art... That's abit too much for the band... Haha... But I'm sure I'll bring him in when the band gets better... At the present stage... It's like... Crap...

I Just Can't Live A Lie

Reminiscing some old songs and I came about Carrie Underwood's "I Just Can't Live A Lie".... The song is not just great, but the lyrics are so true and meaningful... It applies to alot of people in this world... Stranded in a complicated and sour relationship, but still, there's still this 'something' left between each other... perhaps the moments each has been through... And so, let the lyrics dictate...

Lately, nothing I do ever seems to please you
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier,
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange
But I can’t watch you walk away
Could I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we’ve been through?
Could I wake up without you everyday, would I let you walk away?

No I can’t learn to live without
And I can’t give up on us now.

Oh, I know I could say we’re through
And tell myself I’m over you
But even if I made a vow
A promise not to miss you
Now and try to hide the truth inside
I fail cause I just can’t live a lie

Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy,
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe,
The way you know just what I mean,

No I can’t learn to live without, oh,
So don’t you give up on us now.

Oh, I know I could say we’re through
And tell myself I’m over you
But even if I made a vow
A promise not to miss you
Now and try to hide the truth inside
I fail cause I just can’t live a lie

And I don’t wanna try
When I try to hide the truth inside
I fail cause I just can’t live a lie
I can’t live a lie
I can’t live a lie

Migraine

Experiencing the worst migraine ever... It's already Thursday but the pain still lingers... It hurts! It's splitting my brain...

AGAIN

Okay! I know I went for some crazy tidbits shopping again! I know I'm bonkers! But, who cares? Hohohohoho~~~~

Funny Conversation

This happened during the 2nd day of work... Several agents I've never seen before came into office... Marcus started introducing me to the colleagues...

Marcus: Hey Irene! This boy is my son!

Irene: Really? (in awe)

Marcus: No lah... He's an intern from NYP helping me out...

Few staff discussing among themselves: Eh... Actually they look abit alike leh... Got father & son look...

Irene: Ya lor Ya lor!

Bin: |||

And subsequent days... I heard them calling me Marcus No.2!!! OMG!!!

Lunching

Lunching with Marcus for the first time and this is what we ate... Sinful... This plate of chicken rice cost approximately $20! So expensive! But Marcus treat me... Ya... Haha |||

JB

Walked around JB with Xiao Ti & Tim... Shall do it again... :) For some reason, Xiao Ti seems to be able to eat alot yesterday... even more than Tim... Haha! Nevertheless, both are still hungry monsters...

A side note to Xiao Ti, stop showing your "pregnant" stomach! It's hilarious! To add on, slapping it doesn't make the "air" nor the food in the stomach go away... Haha...

要钱不要命...

This is what I'm going to do starting from next week... Work starting from 9.30-6pm in the morning at Prudential and 7-10pm in the night at BMC... Saturday 9-6pm at BMC... Yup... Guess that's the schedule for the next 2 months... I will taste the power of fatigue! *Dejavu* This is going to happen again! Similar schedule during UOB days...

*Faint~*

It's Over

Yes, it's over... Owarinasai!

~Love is a friendship set to music~

Sickening

Its no point crying over spilled milk... But I hate the fact that certain expectations weren't met... I managed to memorise everything... but my mind just wasn't functioning as good as it was at the most critical and deciding point... I'm a disgrace to myself... Slap yourself Bin...

Again

Went for supper session with Xiao Ti & Tim AGAIN... FAT! Something freaked the hell out of us! It's hard to describe... You'll have to experience it yourself to know it... I know its exam period! But I can't wait for our trip to Johor this coming Friday! It's going to be fun... A motivating factor for me to study and get over this tormenting exam! Arghh~

Meet Dave

Went movie with Xiao Ti & TIm... Quote of the day...

I am Dave Ming Chang~ LOL!

Supper Session

All of us were kinda bored and so we decided to meet up for supper... Xiao Ti came to my house to have some chit-chat session first... And yes! I asked the sacred question, got my mum to guess his age... I can't believe my mum said 23-24! OMG! *eyes rolled* Looks like I'm the only sane one able to guess his age correctly... He must have cast his YCB spell again...

Meet up with Tim shortly and head to Al Ameen... Before the food even came, I already had "uninvited guest". It was COCKCROACH! Oh My Freaking God... It was crawling BEHIND my back until Xiao Ti noticed and screamed, I immediately jumped up and shaked it off... It was "DI"GUSTING! Can't believe a cockcroach touched me! YUCKS!!!!! Traumatised~ *Faint*

Took pictures of Tim & Xiao Ti~




There's always unlimited stuff to talk about when they are present... So everything was fun :) Yup... Face reality! Study Bin! Not much time left...

A side note - Congratz to the Singapore Table Tennis Team! You guys rock~ Didn't sacrifice 4 hours of my study time to watch you guys battle it out!

OMG~

I only have 2 packets of tidbits left... What am I doing?! It's suppose to last me during the exam period... crap... I can't believe I gobbled up 6 packets of tidbits in a day.... OMG~~~~~~ PIG BIN

...

Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.

Tidbits Galore!

Went for some crazy shopping just now... Some retail therapy to release stress is good~ Okay.. I know I'm crazy...

Glad

Had a talk with Emily and it's truly encouraging to know that there's someone keen to support you in your concert... Although I know my friends will support me if I get them to come, still, I do like the fact that I'm wasting their time, effort and money... For some reason, it just doesn't feel right to me... More like I'm cheating them or something... Haha... Don't know why I feel this way too... I must be nuts...

Fun Day

It was fun performing Beautiful Sunday this time... Met Tim first before meeting Xiao Ti... As usual, Tim's LATE again.. wahahaha... Xiao Ti was so bored that he travelled all the way down to Admiralty to meet us first! And yet, we reached later than him... Haha... Tim, repent your sins!

We went for breakfast at LJS Marina Square... Didn't really have a pleasant experience as the service provided was quite sub-standard... Customers normally expect their food to be served to them once it is ready... Applying the scenario to our case, nothing was being done... The service provider was busy counting the money in the cashier system... so Xiao Ti and me decided to save the hassle and go get the food ourselves...

As we approached the guy for our food, he gave us a "pissed off" look which was super irritating... As we continued eating the food, we realised the "service" provided to us was far from what it was rendered to the other customers... It was quite irritating to witness differentiated services being provided... In the end, we concluded that it was both our faces that pissed him off... Haha... Well... You can't expect any service of higher quality provided to you in Singapore...

After rehearsal in Esplande, MORE food!!! (feel like puking...) we decided to go out for a walk as it was boring to stay there... As usual, I got lost in the area AGAIN... Damn... Not something to be proud of though... Luckily Xiao Ti was with me when we got lost... Kinda reminds me of the bad childhood memories when I got lost alone... but still, Xiao Ti managed to find the way out.. Haha...

Went for ice cream at Haagen Dazs and back to Esplande for performance... I thought we sounded okay with the limited practices we have... Xiao Ti's 1-bar solo sounded nice.. lol... Congratz!

Went for Taiko & BeatMania with Tim, Xiao Ti & PK! Xiao Ti is skilled... play game with him stress... haha... Nevertheless, it was FUN! Wonder when was the last time I actually touched this kind of games... Haha... We should do this again some other time! As we continued, MORE FOOD AGAIN!!! OMG! PIG~

After that, settled at Mind's Cafe for some crazy games and MORE FOOD AGAIN... PIG!!!! especially CrazyGab and that Veggie game... Pronouncing the words is a helluva thing to do... I don't know how loud Xiao Ti and me laughed playing that while Tim went for his prayers... When we started the Veggie game, it's just crazy... Tim came out with a few new names for vegetables, not to mention "Prolettuce"... LOL!

Mind-boggling + Tongue-twisting games = Tired Brains...

Towards the end, everyone was so tired... Yawning all the way on the train... but it was still fun... Haha... I enjoyed myself before "DI"gusting exams start again... :)

Time of Scars...

What was the start of all this?
When did the cogs of fate begin to turn?
Perhaps it is impossible to grasp that answer now,
From deep within the flow of time...

But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so much, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

Yet even then we ran like the wind
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...

Trust

'Trust' is an intricate attribute that will only be forged when he/she is trapped in an oppressive situation... In just one day, I've already experienced two situations pushing 'trust' on the chopping board...

I can't help but to put it that way... Imagine yourself already got inflicted by some damage done by someone, and later, that someone apologizes to you realising his/her mistake. Yes, you can always forgive that person, but, can you stop that damage that was long inflicted to go away in a flash? I doubt so...

I know its not his/her fault, but I can't stop thinking that I meant lesser than a tip from an exam. I felt utterly disappointed at that time... Though I may have looked okay on the outside, I can't deny the stint of pain that still pricks my heart... it hurts...

In the working world, you thought you've always felt this "mutual understanding" and "trust" with the person whom you've worked with until true "assassination" is dealt upon you... This "trust" many people hold in the working world has always been so superficial that it has been exploited as a "figure of speech". Many people have taken this word for granted... and at the same time, trampled it as it were a useless junk lying on the floor...

"Trust"...

You

現実を否定して 嘘で落ち着きたい

雨の降る惨めなこの夜
あなたの事忘れてしまおう

My Name, My Parents

My name is 苏国斌，once you flip it, it becomes 斌国苏... which sounds like 萍果树! Haha... Lame right? I know its lame... Hohohoho~

My mum's surname is LOH and my dad's surname is SOH... and together they formed the LOHSOH 罗嗦 parents! Haha... Twice the snow attack~ Cold isn't it?

Cool~

I caught sight of this while looking at older posts of xiao ti... Nice name! Muahahaha...

My authentic japanese name is 石丸 Ishimaru (round stone) 翼 Tsubasa (wing).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Do you know me ver. 2.0?

Since someone complained that my questions were limited thus resulting in him getting low marks... I shall make another one...


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A Different Feeling

I know I've abandoned my blog for the longest time possible! I know you guys have been asking this question, "your blog never update one!" over and over again. Okay Okay! I'll do it this instance!!!

I've been having mixed feelings lately, I don't know why... To think back, Meiling has already left Mus'art about a year, I refused to believe the fact that she has lost interest in band playing at that time... I couldn't accept it, I just couldn't... I didn't want to have the thought of her abandoning me but I just couldn't help having that kind of "played out" mentality.

It was definitely not her fault to leave that place and I understood how she felt at that time... I would have done the same thing if I were her... It actually took me sometime to face and accept reality that she will never ever come back again when WMC 2009 ends...

At that point of time, travelling seems to be the most excruciating part of the journey... There was simply no one to talk to... I felt very lonely at the time... It's very hard to get over someone whom you have gotten so used to... and suddenly, you have to live without it...

I missed the days how I used to wait for her to come down from her house like ALL the time, how we always go band practices really early do have brunch and self practices, how we often have late night talks after band practices with the rest and more late night talks reaching home, how we travelled in that idiotic 187 and "shake" all the way to and fro Mus'art...

Playing in Mus'art used to be one of the things I've enjoyed doing, it was a happier place in the past... but you can't expect everything to stay there intact and not change?!

And so for the first few months, I started to take a different route suggested by Tim before he went to Hawaii... As the months continued, I got used to the feeling of travelling alone... I didn't know how to describe the feeling at that time... but it seems that I've moved on the moment I choose to take that "route".

There was this time when dumb conflicts (I wouldn't even consider it as conflicts, more like children's bickering) in Mus'art irritated the hell out of me... I was so tired at that time, what I wanted was just to play music and not experience that aura of "unhappiness" in the band... I nearly had the urge to leave Mus'art and stop playing as there was nothing left for me to cherish... Nevertheless, I still stayed on aimlessly not knowing what to do... Stupid right?

Things started to change when Tim came back, I was so happy and glad that he was back in Singapore again! I was thankful that I got to know nice people like Xiao Ti & PK through him.

I knew Xiao Ti like WAY~~~ long ago when he came to Mus'art with ZiXian, but we were only acquaintance back then... I didn't even know he existed when we played the CNL concert together (I was so young then, 16+ okay?), the "terrifying" thing is that he was already in Mus'art for the "New York" concert! I think my eyes must have "tut ALOT of stamps" back then, perhaps I have selective vision + memory... Hehe... My first impression of Xiao was that he was very "DAO" and serious looking kind of person coz of his big head and "intellect" spectacles, cannot play play with him one... Ya... *eyes rolled*, but little did I know it was not what I expected of him! It was totally different! He is one crazy guy! (cannot praise too much or else he will fly to the skies) Hah!

PK's a really nice girl... Funny & random! She even plays the piano! I always wanted to learn it... PK! I saw your comments! I have sharp eyes! But I'm a noob in blogging... Maybe someone can help me to insert a nice looking tag board... wahaha... Erhem... *Hinting to the IT pro who showed me his works*

I felt that I knew Tim even better over these past few months... We were always so "polite" with each other back then... but it's so different now... haha... We can voice out our opinions and bitch with each other about our lives... Hahaha!

Now, I feel happier going to Mus'art... There's something for me to look forward to in the practices to come... "It is to meet up with them..." :)

PROJECTS! I HATE YOU!

I'm leaving in the slums of an island named 'Projects'. It's killing me day by day... Please save me from this misery!!!! :(

Quiz

I took a mini quiz online on what instrument I should learnt, and it turn out that guitar was the most compatible!!! Kinda wierd isn't it... Haha...

You Should Play the Guitar
You're very independent - both in spirit and in the way you learn.You can teach yourself almost anything, even if it makes your fingers bleed.You're not really the type to sit patiently through a music lesson - or do things by the book.It's more your style to master the fundamentals and see where they take you.Highly creative and a bit eclectic, you need a wide range of music to play.You could emerge as a sensitive songwriter... or a manic rock star.Your dominant personality characteristic: being rebelliousYour secondary personality characteristic: tenacity

The explanation they gave is really quite true! But I need to start learning my piano first! :)

Back From Taiwan!

Well, in case anyone didn't know... I just came back from Taiwan! An interesting place to travel. (though once is enough) Travelled quite a number of places in just 6 days... Scenery was great plus delicious food(yum!)... Uploading images is an irritating chore so I selected a few pictures only.

Here's the little glimpses of scenic areas I've travelled in Taiwan!

~Emo picture of myself~ ~Picture with my good brother Timo~

Something I've always wanted to eat since age of 9... At last, wish granted!

Guan Cai Ban & XXL Chicken Cutlet!

Guess how much all this food cost? Approximately S$15 only!!! A point to emphasize, we ate this at Xi Men Ting... 3 of us managed to finish all the food coz we were dead hungry at that point of time...

I ate this japanese food at the basement foodcourt of Sing Kong Department Store. It's damn nice and it cost S$6 only... Finding such an affordable and huge portion food in Singapore???

Well~~~~

IN YOUR DREAMS!

If you went Taiwan 101 and did not go up to the observatory tower at 91st floor, you have missed the main attraction in Taiwan coz that's the BOMB! We spent 2 hours there! Words can't be described how I felt there... As it started to drizzle, the winds were blazing furiously causing the clouds to swirl like a whirlpool/cyclone... I was literally touching the clouds at that time... Quite cool eh??? It's a once in a lifetime experience!

This picture was edited with the help of technology, we paid to made this... It was worth it... Picture looks great!

~AT HUALIEN~

We took the "tutu" train to hualien and spent a day there... The hotel was great!!! We were lucky in a sense that when we arrived, there was this stranger tour guide that sort of "force" us into hiring him... We needed the help and thus obliged to his offer...

It was quite scary because we went straight to Taroko Valley without checking our luggages into the hotel... There were times we felt uneasy because the tour guide left us at some scenic spot to take pictures while he stayed in his car... Imagine the situation of him abandoning us in the mountains while driving our luggages away at the same time... That's some serious shit... However, it turn out that he was a very honest tour guide... We were too worried about our belongings getting stolen and sort of build up a barrier against him.

After 5-6 hours of sight-seeing... We went back our hotel and continued to walk around Hualien... As we cabbed down to the mega shopping centre at Hualien. (which was about 6 floor only + short ceiling... I can simply push the ceiling cover up just by doing a light jump) The lady cab driver was the best driver I've met... She was so informative and polite... So much for putting so much effort for promoting GEMs services in Singapore, that lady simply nailed any service provider in Singpaore... That was how good she was... Thanks to her, I tasted the BEST Steam Dumplings, Soup Dumplings and Xiao Long Bao! It was DAMN NICE and SUPER cheap!!! Each Xiao Long Bao cost only S$0.20! Can you believe it!!!!!

All those Teck Kee Bao, Tiong Bahru Bao... Shoo~~~ Get lost... They are not half as nice as compared to what I've ate in Hualien... Just the thought of it makes me drool...

On the 5th day, we were back at Taipei... Got the chance to met up with TT's cousin... Very nice ppl... This is TT's nephew!!! Damn adorable and clever and naughty... hahaha....

And lastly, I love ice creams!

Work

So many things have happened in the past 3 months... feels like a piece of puzzle lost in my memory bank.

TCC
After 2 long years, I've marked an end to work-life in TCC. I was actually quite surprised feeling nothing leaving this place; no sense of yearning. Instead, it felt like a burden that was freed from my shoulders.

In the past, I would've imagined having an emotional separation during the last day of work. Sadly, RX has changed so much, so much that I was forced to leave that place. Perhaps it was a good time to leave. The staff have changed, the working environment have changed and so did the work culture.

The only regret I had was being unable to bid farewell to the colleagues I missed, especially Damien... hope he's doing well now.

BMC
Well, I got in this company thanks to Weeleng, the pay is WAY better than TCC. Its not physically exhausting as compared to TCC and its just 7 minutes walk from my house, what's better than a work place that is so near your house! The job scope is totally different from what I've learnt in TCC. Great exposure for me. Will continue to earn more extra cash for myself in the meantime since I get commissions too. :)

UOB BANK
I managed to get through the interview during the CSC stopover, which is good for me as I get to gain experience NYP can't provide me with. I've learnt so much in just this 2 months. In two days time, I will be leaving UOB... Will miss all the great and caring colleagues that helped me along the way. Thank You everyone! Not to forget my friends that struggled together with me in this entire UOB experience. Thank You Xiong Xiong, Iggy, Audrey & Stacy!

And now, back to find my friends in NYP!!! I'm coming back!

Tired

There's alot of problem Mus'art is facing this instant... Its dealing more internal damage than it looks visibily on the outside... I don't want to spent my weekends listening to argument and disagreements. I just want to play my instrument, play music.

I should be "congratulating" them by capturing my love for music, then they crumpled it up, threw it in the dumpster and piss on it, then they took it out from that dumpster, raped it, aborted it, cook it in the stew and fed it back to me. I'm just being honest, I can't take it anymore...

Being Ignorant

I'm always ignorant when its comes to other people's issue... to put it bluntly, I know nothing... Even if you yourself know that its about not doing it again, not making the same mistakes, how many chances will you be given from people telling you mercifully not to make the same mistakes again when you yourself already know what's done cannot be undone?

So what if there's regret? So what if there's resentment? Is there a definite answer to this? I've already made enough mistakes...

Emptiness... Abyss...

Well, there's a saying that people get pessimistic at night... and true it is.... I always felt vulnerable at night... Many thoughts lay deep intact in my mind as if there were no control... My mind seems to be "spearing" into different thousands of directions pondering on things that doesn't provide me with an answer... I don't know why I felt this way... Perhaps the holidays have kept me idle thinking on nonsensical stuff...

Sometimes, I just felt like a fool... Why can't I just let myself free from my thoughts as it were never belonged to me? Why??? Why can't I be a "replica" of myself looking at the real me in other people's perspective? The other "me", the "replica" that possesses different attributes, thoughts and behaviour...

My complex thoughts often result me in late night sleeps... I realised that I am someone who hardly gets satisfied... Greedy you may say... I always felt empty when I got hold of something I've longed for... perhaps it was the process of attaining the specific item that seemed so "endearing" and intriguing... The ecstasy that leads to the rush of my adrenaline... the thrill... the surge of aroused feelings... Well... am I being a bitch...

I must learnt to get through my negativity... I hate the negative me... "You can't have the best of both ends of the world," Tirmidzi's words sure is enlightening... Guess I have to work towards obtaining a relaxed soul and a calm mind...

Chance

I was browsing through the net a moment ago... Happen to find Brenden's blog and so I took a peek at it. As I glimpsed through his blog, I saw his last post where he depicted his dilemma of giving up playing the oboe... Viola! Same sentiments as Meiling & me...

We are so busy and tired of our current lives... Imagine the amount of opportunity costs that were sacrificed just to attend the practices on Sundays. We could have done so much things then...

On the otherhand, we were lucky to have given the chance to continue this path towards music... I could still remember vividly what happened 3 years ago... Me and Ml were chosen out of the 4 to play with Mus'art... this leaves destroying the hopes of the rest... As harsh as it may seem to be, reality it is... Hopes were dashed... Moods were dampened...

I suppose everything happened for a reason... Perhaps we are just a mainequin manipulated by some unknown to experience the world of feelings...

-Serenity-

OMG!!! I wonder when was the last time I've actually blogged! Have been so hung up with Poly life this few months... I'm glad that projects have finally come to an end. The anxiety and stress one could take when working in time constraint, it's just plain CRAZY!

I've come out of my comfort zone taking up the role as a leader in most of the projects this semester. The only thing I could say was... I HATE IT!

I hate it when group members give me crap work!
I hate it when group members can't prioritise what is most important to them!
I hate it when I need to cover their incompetence!
Sometimes, it just hits me... "how on earth did this people get to scrap through all this shit without even getting hurt on the way?" well, beats me...

On the brighter side, I should be lucky that I manage to get through these... phew... its peace now... I'm able to get enough rest, but I can't seem to be able to switch to "relax" mode... I suppose this is the aftermath effect... Feel so out of place now.... So many things undone...

''Delinquent'' Duo

Well, it has been quite a while since I update my last post... Today, I shall talk about people who emulates my own behaviours.

To touch on about having the same egoist, attitude and inner thoughts, I have Lewis there with me... Haven't been talking to him for quite some time even though he is sitting right beside me during practices. I'm not sure why, but I just sense this very intense barrier between us as though he didn't want to talk or perhaps its me being over-sensitive again... It does bother me to think of it...

Now, let us talk about having the same habits... for me, this is rather an isolated topic to talk about because it just shows how eclectic I am. Despite the fact, I always believed that there is another odd-ball who happens to have habits comparable to me... and she's no other than Miao Ling... Here's the list of habits we've found in common during our conversation considering the fact we did not even plan the lunch at all... Fate's doing...

*Credits to Miao's blog*

1) No egg yolks

2) Hate seafood except fish (no salmon please)

3) No internal organs of animals

4) Chicken is the best, beef is alright

5) Towel we use must not be too rough or smooth and it must be able to absorb a significant amount of water.

6) Only Sunkist orange

7) Only green grapes

8) Eating sweet stuff after a meal

9) 3 different types of cleansing product. Hair, Face and Body

10) Cleaning toilet bowl seats before use even though its clean

Ever since that incident, we found more similarities along the way as we questioned each other, brings us back to contemplate if we are related somehow... Haha... A picture we took yesterday...

What is LOVE?

Started work on friday immediately after exams, have lost touch of work ever since the 3 weeks study+exam break but that wasn't the whole point though... Recieved alarming news that Tim's leaving which kinda drops my motivation to continue work by a noch... I know he will fight for his position to stay at RX... today's the judgement day whether he leaves or continues to stay...

Was having a little chat with ''deprived one'' regarding ''what is LOVE?'' because she overheard customers talking about the latter... She related the customer's answer to me and I found it rather amusing, my eyes were rolling away by then... It's about ''giving what you have unconditionally'' WOW! That's the cliche-est answer I've ever hear.

To me, ''LOVE'' is somewhat similar to the defintion of ''NEED'' which I've learnt in Marketing... ''Need'' is a state of felt deprivation including physical, social and individual needs... and so, all you need to do is replace the first word with ''Love''... and it compliments very well with the rest of the sentence... e.g. of physical needs are... (I shall skip on that) e.g. of social needs are affection and e.g. of individual needs are the desire to be loved by someone... though my perspectives may be cynical and crude, it's so true that you can't even deny it.

Guess I'll have to end my sentence and go for work now... till then...

Chinese New Year

I really hate to say this, but I think I really hate Chinese New Year, things just got worse every year... I hate to be bounded by family issues where it doesn't concern me... but, I just can't seem to stop myself from stepping into the situation... I can't stand it... It just got to a point where I found it rather meaningless, to make it more sickening, exams are just round the corner... I don even have the slightest mood to celebrate new year... what's the point of all this???

Still Clinging On...

I'm literally 'sandwiched' with all the things that have been pending... Hate to keep projects intact where I could just finish them all at once, but everyone knows that its impossible though. Am still working hard to keep up with the tight schedule... Work hard BIN!!!

Finding it hard to believe that I actually spent 5 hours just to finish up my idiotic no-brainer statistics tutorial... Felt relieved after surviving through the last question as I was falling asleep.(1am in the morning) My back ached like hell after that... must have been all the 'lying' habits I have for doing homeworks, felt better when Timo gave me a massage on the back this morning...

Concert's coming, kinda excited as I would be playing quite a few solos for this one. Hope I won't screw up. * especially yamato* Desperately need to improve my tone and skills in Euphonium playing but I just can't seem to squeeze the time out! I wished I could stand at a corner, hat in hand and beg people to give me all their wasted hours. Someone, SAVE ME~~~

~Vulnerabilities~

Haven't been updating my blog for quite sometime ya... New years' coming... I wonder why time seems to trigger faster each year? Before you even notice it, you are already watching 2006 back in history. I'm kinda lost track of time, lost track of things that's happening around me. I no longer care as much as I had in the past... Perhaps this is what I've learnt this year, not to stick my butt in other people's business. Learnt to put yourself ahead of others in need of times...

Being in any form of relationship requires one to be truthful, but there's always a limit a person can go... Everyone has their own secrets, especially the dirty ones... A fine young-looking man can actually turn out to be a cunning wolf, you will be oblivious until you see them at their state of vulnerability and desperation. Characteristics are just like colours, they come in different shades, from a viewers perspective, one can be classified as a mixture of blue and green but who knows that the person actually comes in a vast range of colours?!

After writing my thoughts, the point I'm coming to is that we humans are easily affected by our emotions. We tend to let our emotions run wild even before our rationality starts to awake us. Upon saying that, my resolution for next year is to stay strong and handle my emotions well! Sometimes, I wish I could be as tough as the lead actress in 'My Girl', the way she lies and denies the truth just to help others, her thick-skinned personality and lastly, her formidable skills at suppressing her feelings. Its almost close if I'm going to compare her with a robot, the complexity of emotions one can take at a single blow, its just like surviving in a living hell! I can't bear to watch a person suffer like this, makes it excruciating to even look at it. I would choose to offer the person the liberty to take a direct hit from the train to end his/her miserable life instead. (current suicide trend)

Okay now, enough of my jokes now... I shall end here, Night my fellow mates... A good year it shall be!!! (I hope)

P.S. I'm discovering more similarities with him... I'm ''lamed.''