koko

And that's where the heart lies...

New Year Resolution?

What's your previous new year resolution?
Honestly, I can't remember mine.
I don't see the point of setting any new year resolutions if I can't remember the previous one.
So let the new year be a year filled with unknowns, uncertainties with lots of highs and lows.

So... Do you remember yours? ;)

To Curious Girl

Thank you for your comments. I'm glad you like the music I've chosen in my blog. :) Angela Aki is one of my favourite japanese artist of all times. I have a number of songs which I can recommend but it would be too many to list. I will probably recommend you some songs in time to come. ;)

I'm a Singaporean and I'm bilingual. Fluent in both English and Chinese. Honestly, I did not expect anyone to leave a comment on my blog. Guess this blog is getting more and more "followers" eh? And to your question, I do celebrate Christmas even though Singapore doesn't snow. Haha! You write good English. Would be glad to know which country you come from.

Bin

Halfway

I wonder why am I doing all this... This may be the first and also the last time. It seems like I'm working so hard just to make others happy. Perhaps seeing other people happy makes me feel the same. I should probably go to sleep. I'm only halfway done. I need to do faster before the release of results kills off my mood. Hope I finish everything quick!

Julia Roberts

Have been watching alot of productions by Julia Roberts and Erin Brockovich has to be one of her best! Such an awesome movie and it's actually based on a true story. Defintely a kickass film!

Time

Tick Tock Tick Tock~

Time is running out. What now?

Runaway Bride

Indeed interesting to see an interplay between lost souls.
How surprising can one compliment another so well, knowing what's best for them.
Extravagent marriages are nothing but a novelty.
What's most important is having the right person - one who not only goes down the isle with you, but being there for you for the rest of your life.
Consider it learnt.

那些年

the movie really left a residual effect in me.
now i'm feeling incoherent.
I should probably turn in for the day.
things are happening too fast.
starting work tomorrow.

命苦也是一种约束

life

a constant struggle to live the life one endeavours
but in vain when one finds nothing more
in search of an everlasting love
till one finds death at the end of the road
ambivalence; but an euphemistic way of preventing one from getting hurt
deep "blues"; a subliminal expression to signify the resonance of the heart

When The Clock Striked 4.30pm

I know I still have one more paper left.
But I couldn't help but express the excitement I had after SN1101e ended.
Have to admit I have been rather slack these days. Oh Wells~
The test comprised of 3 sections, 3 questions allocated to each section and we were supposed to answer 1 question each. We were told to study at least 3 chapters for each section but lazy me, I did 2 chapters only.
I was kinda afraid to be caught in the situation whereby:-

1)Of the 2 chapters I studied, only 1 question came out
2)If (1) were to happen, I would have no choice but to do that question
3)What if I didn't know how to answer the only question I studied

That would kinda be a LPPL situation right?! Actually, I kinda gave up studying the day before the exam (technically it's the same day as the exam since I stopped studying at 2.30am). I had enough in remembering the names of the politicians, the prominent dates that were the turning points of the countries as well as their socio-political ideas.

No more Gandhi, no more Nehru, no more Jinnah, no more Ali Bhutto, no more Zia ul-Haq, no more Ziaur Rahman, no more Hari Singh, no more King Tribhuvan, no more Mayawati, no more Indira Gandhi, no more princely states, no more weird state/province names, no more Varna & Jati groups, no more Nepal, Sri Lanka, India, Pakistan & Bangladesh, no more federation to confederation, no more feudalism to secularism, no more riots and communal violence, no more weird pacts formed between the political leaders, no more comparison between India & China, no more Indian diaspora, no more Bollywood movies and the effects it had on the society, no more Muhajirs, Biharis, Sindhis & etc... NO MORE!!!

I'm just glad that I could do all 3 sections. But 3 essays in 2 hours is a tad insane. It's OVER and that's all it matters!
THANK ALL THE DEITIES IN THE HEAVEN! THANK YOU!

P.S. My 500th Post. I've come a long way haven't I?

悲しい気持ち (Just A Man In Love)

I remembered how this song accompanied me through my toughest times. It was on single-repeat mode for quite a long period of time. The fast-paced rhythms and bright tunes might have suggested happiness and liveliness but it is not true. The lyrics are rather sad...

夏の女神に 最後の kissを
抱き合うたび溶けそうな瞬間にお別れoh
夢で逢えたら あの日に帰ろう
夜空に舞う星に 願いをこめて
Just a man in love Ohyeah.
涙に濡れて
Just a man in love Ohyeah.
心に咲く花は君の香り

やがて誰かと 恋におちても
胸に残る言葉は 消えないままに
泣くのはやめて 愛しい女性よ
君のことを今も 忘れられない
Just a man in love Ohyeah.
悲しみの My Heart
Just a man in love Ohyeah.
愛されたあの頃が 遠ざかる

Anyone would be holdin' on.
夏は終り 夜風に身を病んで
I won't lose if I just have you.
いついつまでも君は My sweet babe.

Just a man in love Oh yeah.
涙に濡れて
Just a man in love Oh yeah.
悲しみの My Heart
Wow Wow Wow.
Just a man in love Oh yeah.
またいつか逢えたなら
Hold me close to you.

Perhaps having exam dates that's too widely spread may not be such a good idea after all. I'm getting more and more restless as the days go by. I should probably try to do something different, like watch a movie alone. It might not be such a bad idea after all.

I'm not lonely, I'm just alone.

Can't Remember

There's this childhood song that suddenly struck my mind and it has been sticking there since afternoon. I can't remember the title of the song. I tried to search for it online but to no avail. Any idea anyone?

The chorus is

开心开心真开心
开心开心大家开心

Bridesmaid

Finally! A FREAKING AWESOME movie!

Watch the movie and you'll know why I post this quote up. *meaningful*

Megan: You lost Lillian. You got another best friend sittin' right in front of you, if you'd notice! Huh? You can stop feeling sorry for yourself, okay? Cause I do not associate with people that blame the world for their problems. Cause you're your problem, Annie. And you're also your solution. Right? I mean that's...you get that?

P.S. Bored to tears. Can I don't study today? :)

You

There's always this thought that's been lingering in my mind all this while.
Since this exam period is making me bonkers, I don't mind hurting anyone, much less you.
Deep inside, I know you still check on this blog.
But give yourself a break and give me a freaking break.
I don't need your sympathy. It irks me just to look at your face and I was a fool in hopelessly falling for such a person like you.
Move on with your life.
Stop this hypocrisy, this pretense.
I think things were over when it did 3 years ago.
老天喜欢作弄人 and it's true. Of all places, I still have to bump into you from time to time.
You know this deep down inside you. So cut yourself some slack and stop pretending.
There's nothing left between us. Or rather there's nothing left between you and me.
Haha! How ironic, the word "and" appears to conjoin people together, but it stands as a wall between "you" and "me".
So let me say again, move on.
Get married, get promoted and live your perfect life.
I don't wish to see you.
I hope you see this, remove yourself from my life.
And that's my prerogative.

Worst

I officially declare this as my worst study period ever.
It can't get anymore screwed up than this.

Fuck Me

I don't understand.
I feel offended or even insulted when certain people tell me they have problems and expect me to solve it for them.
After hearing your problems, I seriously think I have a huge threshold for stress.
I always assume the role of a good brother by listening to your rants.
I don't mind if you don't ask how I'm doing because all you do is think about yourself.
All I need you to do is just stop rubbing salt into my wound.
Appreciate your god-sent life and live it to the fullest.
Fucking tell me you are suffering from insomnia because you don't know what to do about your life?
I probably should be suffering from severe depression by now.
The other thing that pissed me off was receiving a message from this "friend" of mine asking for something.
WOW! Did you even bother to say "Hi!"
Worse still, it was a mass sent message...
So I became one of the recievers of your mass-sent message eh?
Why don't you go fuck yourself?
We can't help but meet selfish people from time to time.
They undermined our efforts that were placed in the friendship but then again, they also taught us to cherish the ones who still bother to treat us like friends.
So you selfish people can just FUCK the hell out of my life.
Fucking pissed!

平井堅 - いとしき日々

社会奴

tension's rising
stress's overwhelming
screw's loosing
rain's depressing
and i'm not doing anything about it
why study for the sake of studying?
why are grades so important?
FUCK grades... I'm just going to try my best
things don't always go the way I want
so why bother?

something I learn from psychology
this is call "insight learning"
S.O.B

加油

Hey! I want you to be strong. I know you can do it.
It may be a hard time for you. It may disrupt your thoughts.
I know how it feels and I want you to know it is not the end of the world.
Brace yourself, nothing beats a positive mind.
For your own sake, for your 姨妈.
加油！我相信你能坚强。

When Darkness Befalls

This was taken in the afternoon.
As dark as it goes.

Raindrops

As I stood by the window
Watching the pouring rain
~Pitter Patter Pitter Patter~
Raindrops beating against the window rails
I reached my hand out
Letting some fall onto my hand
Tracing the motion of the raindrops
I grasped my hand only to see it seeping through

It felt warm
The sudden urge to stand in the rain
Hoping droplets of rain will wash my troubles away

On second thought, it might not be a good idea.
Seems like I'm about to catch a flu. :S

:(

I know I shouldn't be worrying too much but sometimes I just can't help it.
The other day when my friend told me about the car accident they had, my dad's colleague happened to encounter one too.
His colleague is currently lying in the hospital and the car is in no condition to be driven.
As my dad shares the same car with him, this would explicitly mean that my dad is unable to work for a period of time.
It has been 2 days and I must say it is REALLY awkward to see him around the house when he should be working instead.
Looking from a brighter side, it is great that he's resting after all the non-stop driving. However, the only thing that I see is 0 income entering the family.
I guess my family won't be able to survive if my dad wasn't working, then again... depending on my brother... hmmm... let's not even go there...
I just hate the fact that this semester isn't going as well as I thought it would be and things have to happen all at once.
Exams are coming and I'm trying to find a way to ignore all these troubles that I'm facing.
Sometimes, words of encouragement just won't suffice. Haha! I sound desperate. I need this semester to quickly end before I can start anew.

P.S. I'm grateful for the unexpected card done by you or else, I'll probably be tearing when I type this post. thankyou. life's not that bad. I've been through shittier ones...

Note to self: YOU CAN DO IT! STOP EMOING YOU STUPID IDIOT! GET OUT FROM THIS MESS AND STUDY THE HELL OUT OF THESE FUCKING BOOKS!

better to be a dinosaur

eeyen keeps saying I'm a dinosaur! RAWR~~~~

1st - I'm older
2nd - I listen to old songs
3rd - I'm JUST OLD!!! (I do have to admit this, way too old for university...)

But I guess it's not that bad since winson said he looked like BG Wong... *OUCH* LOL!

accidents

recieved news of my friends getting into a car accident. luckily non of them were hurt in the process.

car accidents made me recall the day on Chinese New Year whereby my family got into one. i wasn't involved in the accident because i was studying for my exams. when i recieved news of it, i was anxious... really anxious. well, imagine being alone while mishaps like these happen. you can't help but blow things out of proportion at that point of time. the last thing i wanted to do was being in the car with them. i'll rather die with them than having them leave me alone feeling miserable for the rest of my life.

life can really be a bitch... you never know what comes next.
it's best we don't 自作贱 since we don't live that long either.

Life As A Fairytale

Took a break from studies and went for a run.
How long has it been since I last ran? Probably close to a month?
I laid on the bench after the run. Did some crunches and collapsed onto the bench while my tummy continued to ache.
As I laid down, I stared at the moon...

My ipod shuffled to the OSTs of "Enchanted". I was enjoying "True Love's Kiss" whilst looking at the moon. It was almost full, almost. Lying at the exercise corner... alone. How rare is that. It was even more comforting and enjoying when the breeze whizzed through my face. For a moment, I thought I was living in a fairytale. Couldn't remember how long I laid there, but it was definitely revitalizing. Suddenly feel like playing "Enchanted" all over again for the upcoming Esplanade performance.



The thought of having an exam tomorrow sure spoils everything. Disenchantment.

Freshen Up

Cut my hair, brushed my teeth, shaved my moustache, cut my nails, did my bushy brows... I feel more sharp now... Look what uni has done to me... Time to study for Bahasa Indonesia...

My Life With Animes

I led quite a different life as compared to other kids when I was young...
Rarely went out to socialise as most of my time were spent watching animes...
My first anime was 偶像小英雄... I doubt anyone remembers this anime... It was also the first comic book I bought... I was 5 then...
There were several classics like Doraemon which I think everyone knows... So no point talking about it...
One epic childhood anime was 乱马½... I remembered it vividly because it was so funny! Was quite amazed when the Sociology lecturer used it as an example for gender studies... Haha!

There came 美少女战士... 1pm Saturday timeslot... *never forget* I was so drawn by the beautiful mahou bishoujos that I started drawing them everyday... My passion for drawing grew from there...

When the first season of 美少女战士 ended, 七龙珠 replaced it... Still remembered how one freaking fighting competition can last for approximately 30 episodes... The characters can freaking take 10 minutes to execute their most powerful move HA-ME-HA-ME-HAAAAAA~ So crazy! But I liked it anyways! The slow pace in the cartoon seemed to effectively build the climax when it finally peaked... 1.30pm was 十二生肖守护神... I'm sure you guys have a rough idea what it is right? Does these characters ring a bell to you?

七龙珠 ended and was replaced with 宇宙小毛球... It was a cute anime... Loved the 3rd ending song! Used to sing with it all the time... I only recently found this song... Was so happy when some kind hearted soul uploaded this on youtube... There was also Slamdunk! The most awesome basketball anime ever with AWESOME theme songs!



When I was in Primary 4, I had afternoon school... Enjoyed sleeping late... At that time, my favourite anime was Saber Marionette... Dolls with special abilities to fight... Haha! This anime was shown in a very weird timeslot... 12am... yes... midnight... I didn't know why at that time... but later found out there were ecchi contents which resulted the anime to be broadcasted on such weird timeslot...

There were also めぞん一刻 & Orange Road... Animes that were more down to earth and relevant to romance... These two animes are quite sentimental and emotional... Some scenes were rather sad...

烈火之炎 was a major breakthrough for action animes... It was first shown on Channel U in some lousy timeslot like 11.30am or something on the weekdays... I remembered recording it everyday using the ancient VCR, it was freaking troublesome... :s I loved it anyway...

When I grew slightly older, these animes were not sufficient enough to satisfy my cravings... I yearned for more... I resorted to buying more and more animes and this marked the 2nd chapter of my anime life...

The first anime I bought was 花より男子... If you guys don't know what this is... It's meteor garden... I was rather put off by the live action remake of 花より男子 because it did not fully portray the fantasy the anime... Some shows are best left untouched... The second anime was One Piece... Well... I bought it when I was Primary 5... Need I say how epic this anime was? It is still one of the top few animes in Japan... Third anime was Slayers! Still my favourite... I have all the songs and VCDs... Naga's laughter is the BEST! No laughter can get any infectious than this!



Lina's Infamous Dragon Slave!



Then there was Fushigi Yuugi! I spent hundreds buying this! The mix of friendship, betrayal, romance, fantasy and action... Everything combined into one anime! I remembered chionging this anime like some madman! Once you start, you can't stop... It topped the charts for Japan in the late 1990s... Better than Dragonball GT...



Gatekeepers next... Very interesting concept I must say... The song is freaking nice! You can open the gate~ Loved their fighting scenes!



To be continued...

Omen

I didn't know my blog had the power to attract people who may know of my brother's existence...
This woman left a message on my blog and later, on my facebook as well...
I wonder what this means... I'm feeling incoherent about this...
I hope it's not something bad...
My hands are already full...
That son of a bitch better don't mess with my life...
I already had enough of his nonsense...

Why am I feeling so uncertain about this...
Am I going to find out something I don't wish to know?

move on

okie... after 2 days of lousy mood + attitude...
it's time to move on...
thanks to my friends who tried to console me...
really appreciate it...
thank you

don't rain on my parade

just when I thought my day was bad enough, it got even worse...
thank you very much... i appreciate it alot...

you know the kind of feeling?
knowing you screwed up but you still continue to live in denial hoping things will turn for the better...
it just gets worse isn't it?
is there a book on "lowering expectations for dummies"?
as much as i try to be less hard up on grades in university...
it still spoils my mood whenever i get shitty results...
i hate this kind of feeling...
it sucks...
i hate to keep negative feelings bottled up...
i need to shout, i need to scream, i need to destroy, i need to tear, i need out!
but sadly, i can't...

Halloween

It is coming, isn't it?
How long has it been? 6 years?
I hope you're doing fine...
You'll always be this memory that lays deeply intact in me...
Always... :)

Wouldn't want to do that on your 6th anniversary... And for you...

-a moment of silence-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

until next year... my friend.

FUCK! This Is NOT Good!

I finally got back to work... papers piling like mad... files thrown everywhere...
Was chatting with Lilian on Facebook and recieved news that Irene(secretary) had to go for a bypass surgery...
She's 60+ years old and still single...
Her insurance didn't cover her heart surgery...
Lilian told me she wanted to save $$$ and bought a cheaper insurance instead...
The consequences she had to bear triggered another conversation we had...
My Family...
My parents have 0 CPF, they have the most basic NTUC insurance that covers peanuts if(touch wood) they ever get into any accident/illness...
Their savings are... pathetic... Only started to save 2 years ago because I forced them to do so...
My dad NEEDS to smoke & drink everyday, needless to say... support the family as well... Making ends meet...
My brother is paying his neverending debts...
And that leaves me... study loans...
I seriously can't imagine if something were to happen to my parents...
The pathetic insurance won't be able to cover anything...
I want to buy a better insurance for them but I have my loans to pay...
So in conclusion, if something were to really happen... we are FUCKED!

desperate people

problems are neverending...
friends confide...
I guess I'm happy being able to help someone in need...

just ended a call with a friend...
life hasn't been smooth for him...
choosing wrong choices in life...
wrong friends, wrong guidances, wrong paths...

when I know he's desperate... I just know it...
was rather shocked when I recieved his messages...
I know he's grateful for me being there for him...
Tries to repay me in different ways... but I seriously don't need anything...
I just want him to be okay...

life's tough... we suck it in no matter how bad situations are...
confiding in others has never been an easy task for me...
perhaps I don't want to reveal the vulnerable side of me...
I mean... who does?
I probably seek self-worth when I make others happy...
that's kind of sad, isn't it?
It's like I can't find happiness for myself...
I think I'm just estranged by all these incidents...
Maybe I'm just very tired from the 10 hours of lesson I just had in school...
I'm sprouting nonsense again... Should probably get to bed this instance...

P.S.
"I always feel that secrets are the ones that really define who we are... If we are exposed... what is left of us?"

Victimized

We, as kids are often victimized...
Victimized in the sense that our parents use us as "weapons"/"trophies" to compete in their war of comparison...
I bumped into a neighbour in the lift and he happens to be an old friend of dad's...
I kinda regretted holding the lift for him while he threw pamphlets into the trash bin... I had the choice to walk slower when I saw him from afar but I did not...
When he entered the lift, I could immediately sense this aura of pretentious exuding from him...
Knowing his family background - 3 daughters who happened to be all degree holders... Imagine how proud he was? *rolls eyes*
I sometimes pity my dad whenever he goes for social gatherings like weddings or even festive celebrations...
People form the perception that my family only breeds stupid kids because my brother went to ITE...
I felt as if we were being stigmatized... Is there something wrong with people going to ITE?
When I managed to squeeze my way into NUS, I knew my parents were happy for me but I couldn't help but think that they were more happy for themselves...
I don't mind being used to compete with people like that stupid uncle...
But is this how things are supposed to be?
I more or less expected the questions that came out of his mouth... and I was spot on...

1)What are you doing now? Me:Studying
2)What school are you in? Me:NUS

-silence-

Me: Bye uncle...

I could almost sense his disbelief after I answered his question... The condescending look he gave me... Felt like punching his face...
I was so glad I was holding the super thick psychology book while I was in the lift... That was evident enough to shut his trap...
He couldn't believe my dad was able to have a son who could actually made it to university...
Perhaps he was just jealous of my dad... him having no male offsprings to carry on his lineage... now I wonder what kind of era are we in?

When I went back home, I told my mum...
"Ma, I bumped into Ah Ek uncle just now"
My mum replied, "so did he ask you what you were doing and which school you were studying?"
I said, "how did you know?"
My mum said "your dad mentioned that you were going into NUS the other time and he didn't seem to believe even though he kept quiet, he just showed an unhappy face to your dad... that's all... don't talk to him next time when you see him... he looks down on people..."

And true enough, he does...

perhaps

feeling abit dreadful to go band...
don't know why...
perhaps I haven't been playing for 7 weeks...
perhaps I don't want to go band alone...
perhaps I lost the momentum of going band every Sunday...
perhaps I'm just lazy...
perhaps there's more important things to do like catching up on the readings I've missed...
perhaps perhaps...

绝对不放

他根本是个玩咖 　　
玩弄感情
把人当傻瓜

simplicity;strikes the core
leaving remnants of ambivalence

Mad World

South Asian exam this friday...
Was doing alot of research since the lecture notes were quite bare...
The more information I researched, the more disgusted I felt...
Not that it's not interesting, but just the fact that some of these countries are really quite screwed up...
The way military oligarchy is present in the country impedes its growth...
How people at the top 自导自演 to gain legitimacy in governing the country to protect their own interests... Are they even helping the people?
Now I know why Marx's theory is so relevant in society...
The neverending struggle for people at the bottom to climb the ladder while people at the top continues to suppress them...
Kinda pity those peasants living in that era...
On the otherhand, I thought some parts were rather anti-climatic...
A number of people at the top often die because they were assassinated!
So screwed up... Perhaps the best way to resolve an issue is to kill someone... Radical ways, radical minds... How many can one kill? You kill one, there's more to take over the position... so why bother?

More Weird Dreams

Another interesting monster chasing me this time...
Monster with rainbow tentacles...
The people in my dream said it was an Indonesian monster... (???)
People who got caught by the monster became empty vessels... It's like their souls got sucked out of them...
These dreams really don't make any sense at all...

tomodachi

what is the significance of friendship?
we often label and classify them under different categories or even rankings.
sometimes I wonder how is that even possible?
food for thought, anyone?
I sometimes have this urge to remove some "friends" from facebook.
acquaintances that I rarely talk to...
the people or "friends" who reminded me of the past which I no longer want to go into...
is this kind of feeling considered as a form of defense mechanism?
a kind of protective bubble to prevent the vunerable side of me from getting hurt?
how does one run away from all this?
do we feel obliged to "keep" those people in the list?
i have this routine that i always do every year... i delete contacts i find useless, it may seem heartless, but then again, what purpose or meaning does it serve? all in all, it just seems like additional data that is compartmentalized somewhere in the device hogging space.
i'm glad i made friends whom i can trust in university.
i see lots of fake people around, just there to exploit one another.
well, that's life I guess...
life's a bitch and it always will be...

X-Factor Stacy Francis

She's damn sick! This is her 3rd performance... All her performances are so emotional... It keeps getting better and better! She's what I call a TRUE artist...

Some Dreams Really Don't Make Sense

Part 1
I was alone in Taiwan and I got lost...
I called eeyen for help to find his relatives in Taiwan!
Some adventure eh... I remembered finding a house in Guting...
The rest went fuzzy... Hmmm....

Part 2
It was night time, I was alone in Yishun...
Came across this dilapidated temple and went in...
There were 3 vampires chasing me when I bumped into them... Remembered running like a mad man...
Hid under one of the wrecked beds hoping the vampires don't find me...
They did eventually... I resisted and continued to run...
I ran to Grandma's old house in Yishun (no longer exist) and started placing Talismans everywhere... Some of my relatives were there and wondered why I was so afraid...
Suddenly, a little kid which looks like 'Nezha' appeared and walked into the house...
I had a hunch he was one of the vampires and started throwing talisman at him (doesn't work)....
He confessed he was Nezha and was the "final form" of the vampires...
He said some rubbish and suddenly everything seemed to be resolved...
Can't remember what he said...
The next thing I knew... I was already awake and drained... Too many happening dreams...

Arigatou

Just want to say a BIG THANK YOU to all my friends who have been helping me to get through this semester... The end is near! I can see it...
GOGOGO~
Gambarimasu!

...

I'm contented with the results I'm getting...
It's a good start... I wonder how long this can last? Haha!
We shall see...
Saman dance performance on Friday... Seriously freaking me out!
I still feel we are not ready yet...
Got arrowed to give a short speech before we start dancing, what luck...
Hope the teachers shower me with more marks... Hurhurhur!
I'm turning a sucker for marks... Survival of the fittest I guess... You don't act on it, you'll never have the opportunity to do any in future...
Back to study for gamelan quiz tomorrow!

Memories

Watching this makes me realise how Disney became deeply integral to my childhood... Those were the times whereby I'll watch Disney animations everyday...



Back to reality...

Lost Season 100

"HAIYA I DUNNO WHAT I'M FEELING NOW. I have never felt anything like this. Like I really just want this semester to end." (Eeyen, 2011)

I can totally relate myself to eeyen's situation.
The kind of incoherent feeling. It's suffocating me from the inside.
This kind of feeling sucks.
I'm having Sociology midterms tomorrow, but I couldn't care less(much?)...
I've looked through the notes over and over again... There's not really an answer... Nothing right or wrong in Sociology... It's how one argues to make his/her points sound and the way one creates a competitive advantage over others...
I don't have powerful English, I have 0 experience in essay writing...
I'm doing whatever I can to compensate for the shortfall...
The transition from Poly to Airforce to University came as a culture shock... I'm still trying to pick up the momentum amidst all the mess!
So used to the business way of tackling questions... Questions that are explicit... Questions taunting and screaming at me "EITHER YOU KNOW ME OR YOU DON'T!"
Marie once told me, "If you are a person who seeks physical answers, then Sociology is not for you..."
I feel as if I've did the wrong choice in choosing some of the modules...
That day's conversation in MacDonald's really felt like a slap on the face...
To me, it felt something like this... "WAKE UP! WHY ARE YOU TAKING MODULES THAT DOESN'T EVEN INTEREST YOU!"
It's as if I want this semester to end quickly before I can start anew and work towards what interests me...
I'm looking forward towards the next semester!
Japanese Studies, Japanese Language! HERE I COME!!!

Double-Barrel Problem On Ethnicity

I was compiling notes for Sociology mid-terms and happened to chance upon this article. Personally thought it was an awesome article!

By Richard Hartung

The Implications in Singapore (Part 2)

Rather than just making a choice based on family preferences, parents may actually decide that they need to take a variety of other considerations into account. And the change affects expatriates, too, since expatriates also need to register the race of their children who are born in Singapore and this decision can have a long-term effect for any children who end up staying here.

When new parents register their child’s birth at the Immigration & Checkpoints Authority (ICA), the first thing they’ll need to decide is which race to list first. As ICA explains it, “if the father is Indian-Chinese and the mother is Malay-German, the child’s race may be recorded as Indian-Chinese (follow father’s race), Malay-German (follow mother’s race), Indian-Malay, Indian-German, Malay-Chinese or Malay-Indian (combination of father’s and mother’s first component race).”

In the Singapore context, then, ‘race’ may in some cases refer to race, ethnicity or even nationality.

Once parents make that selection, it’s very clear how the child will be categorised. ICA says that “for relevant Government policies, such as the initial assignment to a mother-tongue language class in schools and the HDB’s Ethnic Integration Policy, the first component of a double-barrelled race will be used.”

It turns out that the decision can eventually affect the child throughout his or her life, since race is a factor in many aspects of public or social policy. And interestingly, anything other than Chinese, Malay or Indian may be categorised as “Other” for a number of the policies.

Mother tongue

One of the earliest times race will have a significant effect is when the child starts school. Students in Singapore schools must study a second language aside from English, called the Mother Tongue Language. The Ministry of Education says that “our Mother Tongue Language policy requires all students who are Singaporeans or Singapore Permanent Residents to study their respective official Mother Tongue Language: Chinese, Malay and Tamil.”

So for instance, while Mandarin may be more widely used, by the sheer fact of a majority Chinese Singaporean population, parents may consider other languages easier to learn. When selecting which race to list first, parents may then also consider whether their child should study the more prevalent language in the region or a potentially easier one where they could gain higher academic marks.

The effect on housing

Another place where race makes a difference is in housing. The Housing Development Board (HDB) has an Ethnic Integration Policy (EIP) that is designed to “promote racial integration and harmony” and to “prevent the formation of racial enclaves by ensuring a balanced ethnic mix among the various ethnic communities living in public housing estates.” The policy sets maximum percentages for Chinese, Malays, Indians and Other races in each HDB block and neighborhood. Once an area reaches its quota, more sales to that race are not allowed.

Which race is listed first could then eventually affect where the children can buy an HDB flat and the price for it. As Yolanda Chin and Norman Vasu wrote in RSIS Commentaries, “for the minorities, a common grouse is that they have a depressed resale market in demographically Chinese dominant Singapore” and Chinese “may have to turn down willing Chinese buyers.” Parents may then consider housing in deciding which race to list first.

The selection could have a bearing on opportunities in the military too. When a Malay was promoted to general in 2009, The Straits Times noted that “his promotion marks a milestone in Malays' efforts to be fully accepted in the military, a controversial issue ever since it was disclosed in 1987 that the SAF adopted a cautious approach in placing them in key positions.” While policies are changing, listing “Malay” first could be seen as having an effect on promotion in the armed forces.

The choice of race could even affect whether the child becomes prime minister. Section 39 of the Constitution requires that at least one member of each Group Representation Constituency (GRC) in Singapore belongs to either the Malay community or to the “Indian or other minority communities.” As far-fetched as this sounds, parents in effect could select a particular race could make it easier or harder for their child to participate in politics.

Along with schooling and housing and public service, there could well be other times when race matters, too.

It’s easy to say that considerations like housing or politics are so far in the future that they don’t matter. Yet the decision affects children from the age of seven when they enter Primary One on throughout their adult life.

Of course, the eventual effects of the new policy may not actually be seen for decades. ICA allows Singaporeans to change their race twice, once before they reach 21 and once after they turn 21.

What’s perhaps most surprising is how many effects a seemingly simple change can have when one digs just a little below the surface.

Wished I was inside the video to watch this live~

WHITE/津軽海峡・冬景色

I'm doing everything except studying!
No feel!!! :S
Angela Aki's new album WHITE is out!
She done it once again!
Love her new hairstyle!



She sang one of the enka medley songs I used to play! Super nice!!!

A Letter

I sometimes feel emotional when I hear this piece of music...
Something to do with the melody... beautiful sorrow perhaps?
It seems to strike a chord in me...
Don't know why...
I somehow find myself being able to relate to this song...

For Now

Down with 2 midterms! 2 more to go!
Used up my recess week just for that stupid psychology midterm! Could practically regurgitate all the biological aspects pertaining to that test and none came out! DAMN!
Some peculiar questions appeared... I swear it wasn't even in the chapters that we were told to study... Well, heck! It's over! Let's hope I have less than 10 mistakes. *fingers crossed*
I count my blessings on Gamelan Quiz 1. Did last minute studies and all the questions came out! Hope I score well for this one.

Life in NUS has been rather hectic, I sometimes have to think twice if I could go for a movie. How pathetic is that? I am really struggling in school... I know I'm not the only one... All my friends around me seem to face the same problem...

I really don't know how this work-life balance thing works... Getting a life seems to be in the expense of work... I don't know how the "life" part works.

Am seriously thinking of switching my major as 'Sociology' isn't really what I thought it would be... Will take Japanese Studies and Japanese Language next year... See how things go... There isn't really much choice for me to choose, I hate the rest of the majors... Well, perhaps I just hate studying! Haha! Working is definitely less stress than studies...

Think I'm thinking too far ahead, it's not even the end of first semester and I'm thinking so much... Let's hope I surive this semester with at least Bs... I really don't expect much in results... Perhaps I'm too tired and too old for studies...

P.S. I just discovered something about myself... I'm quite the sucker for Japanese people... LOL! Need to find more of them in school and make friends with them! :D

Help

Stupid me accidentally removed my list of blog links...
What's left scrambling are the ones I've had in my blog!
Only managed to recover some...
Bc, Tim, Nat, Nick! Give me your links!

Rest

I'm grateful for recess week! Finally some rests after all that tension and stress in school... I'm struggling to survive in Uni... It's really not easy... Hate the education system in Singapore! Why do we have to get a degree to have a "decent" pay in future... It just doesn't make any sense!

Family?

Had a little family gathering with some of my relatives...
Was lost for words when I sat in between my maternal grandparents...
Smiled and remained quiet throughout the event...
Part of me wanted to start a conversation that never seemed to came through...
Not sure why... Have been feeling more and more detached from social gatherings like these...
I sometimes feel obliged... I hate to feel this way, but I can never find myself relating to either sides of the family...
I'm not sure how my family functions... I'm not even sure if mum or any of my uncles/aunties loved grandpa and grandma...

Pilates

Pilates is a force to be reckoned with!
Almost died towards the end of the session...
First 5 minutes of the hemstring stretching exercises... *gasping in horror*
One set of exercise is equivalent to 300 sit ups!
Abdominal pain... Hurts like mad now...
Nevertheless, it was great fun!
Glad I signed up for it!

*poke*

Don't dream, it's over!
Wake up your freaking idea!
STUDYSTUDYSTUDY!!!
I'm so behind my readings!
Too much to cope and too little time to spare!
Can somebody throw me their wasted hours? I'll be willing to kneel down and beg for them! >_<

想你想得好孤寂

WOW! This song brings back alot of childhood memories! :)

1st Day

I keep telling myself "no more regrets this time round"...
I'm not making excuses for myself anymore... not this time...
I don't know what the future's going to be like, for all I know...
live the moment, play on even when we are losing the game.

play hard, study even harder. no regrets.

450th Post

So much for getting matters intertwined...
So awkward to the extent that things can be treated in a way as if it never happened...

Bemused.
Haha...

Screwed Up Department

Hi,

This is the 5th time I've been thrown around from department to department.
I do not wish to undergo the same tiring process of getting information that's supposed to be provided by your department.
If you consider yourself as the S/U team, please retrieve the following information for me.
THANK YOU! Your help is much appreciated.

Regards,
Guobin

I think I'm way too nice in my email. Should have just called up and fuck the shit out of them. Useless!

O Week

Crashed the first two days of O week, it was great fun albeit limited hours of rest!
Have to applaud the organisers and OGLs for maintaining such high level of energy throughout the entire process. I salute these people! It's a really tiring job, not to mention they are not even paid.
Talk about altruism, this is one classic demonstration of such.
The efforts contributed to the final actualization of the camp is just immeasurable.

I sometimes questioned myself if I'm able to give without recieving.
Well, I probably could... That has to boil down to the number of hours I'm willing to sacrifice.
It is not easy to tune back to being a "happy" student whereby only studies, entertainment and friends matter.
Guess this is the downside of exposing myself too early to the practicality of the working world.

I really envy the female freshies I've met! They are only 19 years old! I can't recall what I was doing when I was 19 (other than the part I was slogging my ass off at work). Haha! It feels so good to be young! *Sigh*

Got all the modules I was bidding for...
Let's proceed to balloting... Shall we? :)

Bidding

Think I'm experiencing an inner emotional upheaval.
The feeling of vexation is just too overwhelming! It's slowly devouring me from the inside!
The entire bidding process is seriously driving me crazy!
I cannot emphasize how irritating and disturbing this phase can be.
There's so many minute details I have to factor in.

Did I fulfill the prerequisites to take this module? Will this module pull down my grades? Can I cope with examination dates that fall back to back? Did I place enough points to ensure that I get my desired modules? Any friends taking the same modules as me? Did any timeslots clash with one another?

I should take a break from this mayhem. Hope it ends soon. Hell Episode 2 - Balloting is slowly creeping to our doorsteps. I need my dosage of Choya to calm my nerves!

I had fun in Melbourne.
The food was great so was the weather.
The mesmerizing view from Yarra Valley.
I swear I could get lost just by looking at the picture.

Melbourne

Leaving house in 2 hours time!
Singapore is way too hot for my comfort...
Time to experience somewhere that's cold!
Bye people! See you in a week's time! =]

S-Noose

I had so much fun in the Soci-camp!
My orientation group was awesome!
I can't really picture myself being in other groups.
Had only 2-3 hours of sleep everyday but it was worth it.
I saw ghosts during Fright Night, fake & real ones...
Got smeared in disgusting concoctions of sauces, drenched in soap water that was mixed with peanut butter jam, did an impersonation of Barbarella for a mini play, had lots of cheers & games...
Great memories... A great start for a university prelude!

2 words...

No Regrets

My Regret

The courage to confront soothes the dissonance of anguish.
Never leave any regret; pick up the remnants and arrange them to your desire.
Translate the tinge of sadness that lingers into energies of dominance.
The opportunity to retaliate can be sporadic, embrace it and never let go.
Sinking deep into resentment, articulate your malevolent thoughts with deliberation.
Fear not, for there's nothing left to consider.
With irony, I stay intact.
Letting loose ends remain where it stood...

I saw this from Khaki's facebook wall post, love this quote!!!

"When people hurt you over and over, think of them like a sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless." - Chris Colfer

Camp

I'm a little flustered with the idea of going camps.
To be frank, I have never been to one. The thought of it just makes me cringe.
I'm not sure why. Perhaps I had enough of meeting new people, the process of feeling awkward is just so tiring. You have to break the ice.
I normally take the initiative to talk first, how I wish it was the opposite.
Nevertheless, I hope the camp will be fun.
I need to meet new friends, people whom I can rely on. To get me through university.
Let's hope I didn't make the wrong choice of registering the wrong camp.
And so, with an unsettling heart, I await the fateful day - 5th July.
Fingers crossed.

Taiwan Re-visited

2nd trip to Taiwan was fun!
Rather surprised I wasn't that bored sticking around in Taipei for 7 days.
Most of the areas I went this time were new to me.
Enjoyed the long walks on the streets while I munched all the junk food!
Loved the bubble tea there! Koi can go kiss my puhweh!
This trip also made me realised something.
Never am I going on a trip with more than 4 people.
It is never easy to get thoughts and ideas aligned with everyone...
There's bound to be restrictions when there's too many.
Nevertheless, the trip went smooth and I'm glad no one fell sick.

Time

Been having a tought fight against time.
Not sure why am I in such a rush. Perhaps I just want to keep myself ready for the upcoming challenges, keep that brain functioning!
Registration for university hasn't been smooth-sailing, problems keep surfacing out of nowhere. Shan't dwell on that. Such an irritant!

Work has been fine. Being a PA is still as fun as ever!
I love working there. My colleagues are nice people. I believe I'm working with the elites (old and experienced bunch).

My boss is great! 3 years really made alot of difference, time left and took some youth away from him, have to say he aged quite abit. There's basically no restrictions in the things I do. Pay is rather good and time's flexible! I can't ask for more given my schedules and commitments.

Friends always say that I'm blessed, but I don't see it.
I like to refer it as the networks I've formed all these years.
To me, some things are just not good enough. I'm not satisfied with a lot of things in life. There's so many things I can't do at this point of time. One step at a time...

It's great to be able to make friends with so many people from all walks of life, I guess all one needs is a little extra effort.
Getting to understand, to know...
I don't know what life is going to be like in the future. For all I know, it's going to be tough...

And now, I bid farewell to NS. To happiness, regretment and lessons learnt. I bid you farewell.

End of NS chapter. Full stop.

Vexed

So many things to settle before matriculation!

1)Taiwan ORD Trip 21-27 June
2)Financial Applicaion
3)Bank Loan
4)Registration
5)Make Tertiary Ez-link
6)Soci-Camp 5-8 July
7)Melbourne Trip 19-24 July
8)O-Week Camp (should I go?)
9)Starting work tomorrow... OMG!!!

I need a breather!

Breaking Dawn Trailer

This should be interesting...

アンジェラ・アキ

She has to be the best in Japan! My favourite Japanese artist 'Angela Aki'.
Her new song - Hajimari no Ballad...

The "3rd"

Ain't relationship a bad in the ass?
Even constant hardwork and love for each other may still prove to be inadequate.
So what other elements can cause a strong relationship to weaken?
The answer is "3rd party".
We have been witnesses in situations like these, but how can we lend a helping hand to troubled friends?
Providing support's the only key, a listening ear may seem futile but it helps.
We shall wait for karma to strike and may all injustices to be amended.
One thing's for sure, conniving bitches/jerks don't get away so easily, we shall see to it to the end...

Survival Of The Fittest

Our views are often restrained by the social norms which bind us.
A wrong action or an expression of personal view on a particular matter may be deemed as a 'social suicide' in the current society.

An egoist makes a mistake - blames everyone other than himself, tries all means to divert the issue to salvage his pity pride. Pathetic.
People see, but most choose to 'reserve' or simply ignore.
Idiots on the other hand, choose to blantantly deliver.

There's too many factors to consider before making the choice to refute. Can others be 100% receptive to your views? The answer is "NO". The best way to survive in a group of egomaniacs is to shut your own trap. That's just how things work. Constant arguments will only lead to an endless vicious cycle of disputes. Only magnanimity triumphs, one doesn't have to 'win' an argument to win. The important lesson here is to stay a clear conscience and that's all it matters.

The days in the 'isle of the damned' proved that survivability is no mere skill, it is of utmost importance to one, be it working or hanging out with your own social group. We can never be too sure unless there's trust. And there's the rub.

Luck

Sometimes, being blessed with good luck can also be deemed as a double-edged sword.

Dedication

曾, has it been 10 years already?
Guess we've known each other long enough to exclude social practices like "celebrating birthdays" eh?

Tracing back, don't you think the journey was all in all... extensive?
I remembered the times when we were still naive and ignorant.
The conflicting ideas we used to have which led to meaningless arguments.
Ironic isn't it? Those arguments didn't even concern us in the first place!

Times have changed, retraction transpires; people no longer remember the promises made at the point of impulse.
Do people still remember? Or am I just being cynical?
We witnessed change, seen the ugly sight of human nature and made absurd mistakes.
Wouldn't it be great if we could undo bad choices and alter distressing situations to our advantage?

These 10 years meant entireness in understanding.
It redefines the essence of friendship and forges even stronger bonds.
I can't really describe what this friendship encompasses, but for all I know, it's different.

I'm glad for your unceremonius meeting with "Romeo". Personally, I can't think of a better candidate. No one can match that maturity level of yours. Even though I haven't met him yet, I have good sentiments about him. Nevertheless, keep in mind to expliot and utilize like I always tell you to even though you profusely ignore my advices. Your greedy friend here needs to experience royal treatment! =D

Jokes aside, hope that the number '25' signifies growth and a closer step towards the dreaded "adulthood" in life.

Lastly, Happy Birthday! My Friend!

白い恋人

A jab of incessant contentment to find out friends never forget; that we weigh and hold a significant capacity in each one's mind.

One of my all-time favourite Japanese treats. Never fail to get them for me everytime you travel to Japan.

Thank You Timo.

Melbourne

Melbourne set at 19-24th July. =]
Going on SQ!

Interesting

This video shocked me when I randomly came across it...

A Wisdomy Tooth Experience

Finally had my dental surgical done! Have been dragging this issue for approximately 7 years?! That's one more thing striked off under my list of agendas.

For starters, I didn't know general anesthesia was THIS strong until I experienced it myself. I practically didn't know what happened during the operation. The only thing I remembered was taking 3 puffs of general anesthesia before falling into a deep sleep.

I was awoken by the nurses' chatter and realized I was sedated for 2.5 hours. I've never felt so weak in my life, had to use all my strength to lift my arm. I couldn't feel my lower lips either. The first thing I did was poking it and it felt rather foreign, like it wasn't mine.

Few hours later, the anesthesia wore off and that's when the pain hit me. It was excruciating!!! I was doing everything to distract it. I walked around, watched movies, listened to music until it hit my threshold of tolerance. I called for the nurse and she handed me this very strong painkiller named 'Arcoxia'. It relieved my pain after 15 minutes.

Went home and had my first meal of the day. Porridge. If there's one thing I hate, it'll defintely be porridge. Had like 3 spoonfuls of it and gave up. It tasted way too bland for my liking. Immediately proceeded with a Prima Deli Chocolate Mousse Cake. Hmmm... At this point, some of you may wonder how I even chew the cake. Well, if there's a will, there's a way. You'll figure out all sorts of techniques to eat it. I had fishball noodle soup for supper that day. =]

Guess I'm really the 'live to eat' kind of guy eh?! Not even dental surgical can stop me to eat the things I desire.

And that's the picture of the day for you!

Piano Miniature

For S$5, this has to be one of the best buys in Lop Buri night market.
This treasure was inconspicuously hidden under the pile of unclassified junk.
The packaging was rather damaged when I took it up, nevertheless, I still bought it.
Despite the wrecked cover, everything's new inside. Pieces and pieces of blocks nicely packaged, manual included!
The process of piecing the blocks one by one was reminiscing.
It made me realize how much I miss building legos.
Guess that's part of a long forgotten childhood memory.

This miniature is very different from the classic lego design. It's way more intricate than it looks. Check it out!

Archiving

It has come to my realization that different people choose different ways to remember special occasions. Some may tag meaningful memories to items of some sort while some like me, choose to take pictures and develop them. It seems that I've been framing up photos which more or less mark a significant point in my life. 'Exercise Cope Tiger' is very well a good example. It not only signifies an end to outfields (fingers crossed), but also reiterates the finishing point of my NS journey. It has been long, way too long for me to comprehend. My life was placed on "PAUSE", now I can hit the "PLAY" button and tell myself, "my life is coming back!" There should be a parade for this since it's a norm in the SAF. ;)

April Fools' Day

So what did I do for my April Fools' Day?

I was summoned by my godsister to rescue her from her sticky-stalker situation. Kinda interesting I would say. What's with all these creeps nowadays? Too much idling? Nothing better to do? Is stalking the new craze for sick fucked up people?

Sex & The City

I spent most of my personal time watching 'Sex & the City' when I was in Thailand. All in all, it's a great drama! Have always wanted to watch it since I was in secondary school. Finally seized the opportunity when funshion released all 6 seasons. It was worth the wait after all these years.

The show realistically dealt with issues on insecurities, desires and relationships. Carrie (lead actress) portrayed a witty persona narrating the problems she and her friends faced daily. The ending credits of each episode places me to a halt and makes me realise that people around us are facing the same problems too. You guys have to watch to understand what I'm trying to say.

Here are some quotes I really like:-

"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?"

"You call this a relationship? [Maria] Well, it's tedious and the sex is dwindling, so from what I've heard, yes [Samantha]."

"That’s the thing about needs. Sometimes when you get them met,
you don’t need them anymore."

“I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty.”

Miranda: “What ever happened to aging gracefully?”
Carrie: “It got old.”

Prelude

Got a little surprise which made me where I am now - HOME...
Turns out that the day of embarkation earns me an additional off from unit...
As the things came a little too sudden, I was placed in a position to pack my belongings in a speedy manner...
I have to admit it was frantic, I literally didn't have the time to chat...
"Time is of the essence" couldn't be more relevant than it was at that point of time...
Not sure why I'm feeling this way, perhaps I wasn't ready to leave yet...
I wanted to spend more time in Singapore (not that I'm not coming back)...
Saying 'goodbye' to my coursemates felt a little weird...
Honestly, I envisage a prelude of what it's like to ORD...
Mixed feelings I guess...
Well, 2 weeks can be long and short... Depends how we see it...
One thing's defintely going to change for sure, my skin colour!
Till then, my friends...

PR

you can't control the things that happened to you
but you can control the way you react to them
it's all perception

Dexter

If you guys thought Prison Break was great, you haven't seen Dexter...
I believed the show created controversy when it was aired on TV... Huge one...
Branding a killer as the "hero" of the show...
Hailing justice to bad guys who get away with crime...
By "justice", I meant bludgeoning and mutilating of humans...
The show encircles the thoughts of Dexter's, revealing his obscured emotions...
Funny thing about this drama is that it compels me to root for Dexter even though he's a killer...
A very different drama I would say...
This show is highly recommended!!!

Tiger Exercise

~tiger tiger brazen fire!~

Gonna get burn under the scorching sun from 10th march - 26th march.
Will be in Thailand, hope to see you guys soon! Approximately a week's countdown from now. Wish me luck! Hope the rising temperature don't induce berserk.

Incapabilities

There are certain things that are within your capability to control...

You can't stop how others see you
You can't stop what others think of you
You can't stop them from talking things behind your back

Bottomline - No one can change your perceptions and feelings unless you let it go... Don't push it too hard... Things may topple at the other end...

Sidetracking... I really dig this photo! Thanks to Jordan for the wonderful photoshoot!

Nuffnang

-to avid readers of my blog-

In few days time, advertisements will appear on my blog.
Would appreciate if you guys can kindly click on the advertisements listed.
That would be a great help to me! In addition, I hope to publicise this blog...
Let's see how this goes...

Thanks very much! =]

It's Around The Corner

It's getting closer and closer...
I realized time seems to fast-forward after you turn 21...
The uncertainty in me seems to grow with every date striked off from the calender...
Have been getting anxious on starting anew...
4 months to ORD, 6 months to NUS...
Does this seem normal at all? Getting anxious on events that have yet to hit you right smack on the face...

I often questioned myself on the choices available when I get to NUS, the paths I should take, how I want this whole new experience to be...
To be frank, getting into a local university still seems too surreal for me... Too good to be true... Have always thought I might end up in a different path... Something remotely close to what's going to materialize infront of my eyes...

I need some confidence boost to keep me fired up on the upcoming challenges...
School, friends, work, music, time... It's all coming back to me again but with a higher level of intensity...
I want things to be perfect or within my expectations, to say the least...

I believe it's imperative to study something I'm interested in as opposed to something that might be relevant to the society...
There are so many examples of people not ending up in jobs that are related to their expertise...
Having seek advices from so many people, I think I know what I want to major in now...
It's about time things start to roll...

I need to get out of NS fast... It's corroding me from the very core... I had my fair share of bad choices for the previous year... To recall, it was uncomprehensible... I wasn't myself, it might've been a bad voodoo curse?! Haha! I must've been crazy!!! REALLY CRAZY!!! 2 years is too much... After I'm back from Cope Tiger 2011, I'm so getting the mood to ORD...

Resolution

It's 2011...

-New Year Resolution-

1)Study Hard
2)Improve Harp Playing
3)Earn $$$

As simple and concise as it seems, this is really going to take alot of work out of me... I think I'm going to struggle when university enters the picture... Wish me luck people!