Sunday, November 11, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Surprise
easily the most heart warming surprise after a seemingly long, tiring and shitty day.
thank you. it was worth it! =]
thank you. it was worth it! =]
Saturday, October 13, 2012
<3
Was falling asleep on the bed and decided to keep myself awake with the chocolates you've bought. :) 
Sunday, October 07, 2012
Acquiescence
Acquiescence to life.
Ambivalence; is but a casual sequence in life.
Nonchalance; sucks the soul out of one's life
And the end, takes you to neverland.
Ambivalence; is but a casual sequence in life.
Nonchalance; sucks the soul out of one's life
And the end, takes you to neverland.
Friday, October 05, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
山縣 有朋
This guy is making me insane! You sure have a long lifespan didn't you?
Painstakingly churning books to understand your political life. Arghhhh~~~
I want this to end really soon! I still have another "Buddha" to attend to...
Painstakingly churning books to understand your political life. Arghhhh~~~
I want this to end really soon! I still have another "Buddha" to attend to...
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
心寒
留下卑微的尊嚴，讓心就此放縱。
但犯贱也必需适可而止。告一段落就要懂得後退。
理智和心的掙扎總是讓人難以啟齒。
難道就能輕易讓＂笨＂就此停止下去嗎？
人生的每一個階段都會陷於交叉口的現狀~
那... 這次的答案又是甚麼？
但犯贱也必需适可而止。告一段落就要懂得後退。
理智和心的掙扎總是讓人難以啟齒。
難道就能輕易讓＂笨＂就此停止下去嗎？
人生的每一個階段都會陷於交叉口的現狀~
那... 這次的答案又是甚麼？
Saturday, September 08, 2012
韋禮安-慢慢等
Haven't heard this song for the longest time. Still loving it!
你终究占据了我的心房
我终于知道什么叫做疯狂
因为你 我不再怕黑暗
想着你让我更加勇敢
你说你害怕曾经受过的伤
过去发生的情节让你迷惘
害怕重演在你身上
却步 让你失去了方向
或许我没资格说什么（有谁不会害怕呢）
但我知道我会愿意等（你相信我的时候）
我会慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等
慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等 等上线 的铃声
慢慢等 等到我都睡着了
耐心等只为了心动 那一刻
慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等
慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等 等红灯 变绿灯
慢慢等 当你突然觉得冷
我会握着温暖在 在这里等着
你说你害怕曾经受过的伤
过去发生的情节让你迷惘
害怕重演 在你身上
却步 让你失去了方向
或许我没资格说什么（有谁不会害怕呢）
但我知道我会愿意等（你相信我的时候）
我会慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等
慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等 等上线 的铃声
慢慢等 等到我都睡着了
耐心等只为了心动 那一刻
慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等
慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等 等红灯 变绿灯
慢慢等 当你突然觉得冷
我会握着温暖在 在这里
慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等
慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等 等上线 的铃声
慢慢等 等到我都睡着了
耐心等只为了心动 那一刻
慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等
慢慢等 慢慢等 慢慢等 等红灯 变绿灯
慢慢等 当你突然觉得冷
我会握着温暖在 在这里等着
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Gravity by Sara Bareilles
The lyrics bite and the music kills.
Addiction is a painful process.
When you think it's over, it comes back to haunt you whenever your mind is left idle. Sometimes I wished there's an actual cure to our own addictions. So... who/what is your remedy?
GRAVITY
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
Addiction is a painful process.
When you think it's over, it comes back to haunt you whenever your mind is left idle. Sometimes I wished there's an actual cure to our own addictions. So... who/what is your remedy?
GRAVITY
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
Thursday, August 09, 2012
Ensnared To An Older Self
Fell, bruised and scarred. I'm sure all of us have experienced such "pain", whether is it the anguish of losing someone we love so dearly, the shame and fear of rejection or the feeling of defeat when expectations are not fulfilled.
Being ensnared in such sufferance is sadly part and parcel of life. 'Once bitten, twice shy', so the idiom says. Yes, I agree that we get the "twice shy" part, but what about the part where we pull ourselves up and become stronger everytime we get "bitten"? Do we just fall and never stand up again? The negative connotation attached to this idiom seems biased in my opinion. If I could ever edit this idiom, I would add "thrice stronger" to make it complete.
When the same things that hurt us before hurt us again, we take it with a stronger heart withstanding that intensity that once felt so pain and deep. Our minds become clearer and more rational with every decision we make. We set up this defensive mechanism in playing our cards right, hoping that the odds are ever in our favour. We reflect and view past incidents in a different light and laugh at our foolish moments. That's what maturing as an adult is all about, ain't it?
Being ensnared in such sufferance is sadly part and parcel of life. 'Once bitten, twice shy', so the idiom says. Yes, I agree that we get the "twice shy" part, but what about the part where we pull ourselves up and become stronger everytime we get "bitten"? Do we just fall and never stand up again? The negative connotation attached to this idiom seems biased in my opinion. If I could ever edit this idiom, I would add "thrice stronger" to make it complete.
When the same things that hurt us before hurt us again, we take it with a stronger heart withstanding that intensity that once felt so pain and deep. Our minds become clearer and more rational with every decision we make. We set up this defensive mechanism in playing our cards right, hoping that the odds are ever in our favour. We reflect and view past incidents in a different light and laugh at our foolish moments. That's what maturing as an adult is all about, ain't it?
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
Dance
Watched this years back. I was touched by the performance even though I couldn't relate myself to the sufferings of cancer patients. Sometimes when you can't convey a message through words, you draw. When drawing fails, you use music to express. Failing to do so. Just dance. I think it really helps. (provided you can)
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
對的人x錯的人
不是很喜歡這種感覺。是對的人或錯的人我也不知道。是尋我開心嗎？我也不知道。只知道好像在玩心裡頭的捉迷藏。耍心理戰術，試著去猜測對方的想法。我不喜歡這種感覺，也很儘力的不去想。希望那只是我的幻想。近來都過的很好。我不想再歷史重演。雖然心裡是存有那一丁點的渴望，但還真的不想再一次被誤導，被傷害。我的心其實沒有那麼堅強。錯的人，一個就已經足夠了。
P.S.那你是對的人嗎？
P.S.那你是對的人嗎？
Monday, July 02, 2012
Student Exchange Programme
I'm targeting to go Japan for my Student Exchange Programme (SEP). From past records, universities in Japan has been the toughest for students like me to get in. I just hope things will go smoothly. I need miracles to happen.
Things that are working against me for this application.
1) My results aren't that fantastic.
2) Totally have no idea how mapping of modules work.
3) Money is still an issue but I'm working towards the "ideal" amount.
4) My parents aren't kept in the loop, shall tell them when everything is done.
It's quite an irritating thing that I've always envied kids who are raised in an environment way better than me. In conversations, my mind automatically does this "mental comparison" upon hearing living conditions of others. I can't help but turn a "green-eyed monster" knowing their lives are so well taken care of. Guess that's just me. Perhaps comparison makes the better out of me.
I work for my own money. I dislike the fact that kids nowadays just ask for money without knowing the true value of it. It's rather distasteful. Perhaps I'm just a sour grape. Knowing other kids get the privilege of "free" money and I'm just not entitled to any of them.
Jealousy kills but I think comparison kills the most. I'm crapping too much. Now the title doesn't even match the contents of this blog post. whatever.
Things that are working against me for this application.
1) My results aren't that fantastic.
2) Totally have no idea how mapping of modules work.
3) Money is still an issue but I'm working towards the "ideal" amount.
4) My parents aren't kept in the loop, shall tell them when everything is done.
It's quite an irritating thing that I've always envied kids who are raised in an environment way better than me. In conversations, my mind automatically does this "mental comparison" upon hearing living conditions of others. I can't help but turn a "green-eyed monster" knowing their lives are so well taken care of. Guess that's just me. Perhaps comparison makes the better out of me.
I work for my own money. I dislike the fact that kids nowadays just ask for money without knowing the true value of it. It's rather distasteful. Perhaps I'm just a sour grape. Knowing other kids get the privilege of "free" money and I'm just not entitled to any of them.
Jealousy kills but I think comparison kills the most. I'm crapping too much. Now the title doesn't even match the contents of this blog post. whatever.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Something In Your Eyes
I was listening to the radio and I chanced upon this. Immediately fell in love with it. Oldies are the nicest. :)
Monday, June 11, 2012
Something Random
Was so sick and tired looking at the worn out paint in my room and I decided to change it!
Bought "charming lavender". Thought it looked nice from the catalogue.
When I started painting it, the colour differed... Then I realised I should've chosen a lighter colour...
Cutting the story short, my room looks like a girl's room now. Arghhh~~
But anything is better than the previous one. Guess I'll have to live with it.
Took me exactly 5 hours to sort everything out.
Seeing things clean and in order calms my soul. :)
Bought "charming lavender". Thought it looked nice from the catalogue.
When I started painting it, the colour differed... Then I realised I should've chosen a lighter colour...
Cutting the story short, my room looks like a girl's room now. Arghhh~~
But anything is better than the previous one. Guess I'll have to live with it.
Took me exactly 5 hours to sort everything out.
Seeing things clean and in order calms my soul. :)
Saturday, June 02, 2012
Difference
Stupidity + Stubborn Persona + Wrong Choices defined my last semester. I was having a tough time struggling with studies. 3 out of the 5 modules I took were a killjoy. It's as if I was being tortured in living hell. And results were needless to say, an utter load of bullcrap. Experiencing defeat after my years of triumph in studies kinda took a toll on my pride. I almost forgot what losing felt like. Haha! I'm glad first semester kicked me hard in the butt. It served as a reality check to not take things lightly.
This semester began with a brand new perspective. An adoption of a different strategy coupled with modules that suited my interests and... VIOLA~ I survived this semester... Hmmm... in fact, I think I ruled it. Guess that's how "defeated" people make their glorious comebacks. Sometimes it's kinda irritating to see your grades shooting up all of a sudden and it inadvertently creates a subconscious kind of expectation in you. I have to constantly tell myself...
"Just enjoy the process, that's what's most important. And your results for your previous semester was just pure luck. Live your life, don't let studies rule you"
It's time to get some rest and enjoy my remaining holidays. I hope you guys are leading a good and purposeful life. Cheers! ;)
This semester began with a brand new perspective. An adoption of a different strategy coupled with modules that suited my interests and... VIOLA~ I survived this semester... Hmmm... in fact, I think I ruled it. Guess that's how "defeated" people make their glorious comebacks. Sometimes it's kinda irritating to see your grades shooting up all of a sudden and it inadvertently creates a subconscious kind of expectation in you. I have to constantly tell myself...
"Just enjoy the process, that's what's most important. And your results for your previous semester was just pure luck. Live your life, don't let studies rule you"
It's time to get some rest and enjoy my remaining holidays. I hope you guys are leading a good and purposeful life. Cheers! ;)
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Life
Been months since I last blogged.
For those who does follow my blog... I just want to say I'm still alive!
Everything has been fine! This semester has been rather hectic but fun.
School, Work, Band. Did abit of tutoring for some band kids too, really enjoyed myself!
Time flies... Few days ago, I was still complaining about the dreaded exams.
And now, it's finally over! 3.5 months break awaits me :)
Was comtemplating whether to join an Euphonium gig previously.
Somewhere inside me told myself I shouldn't let chances like this pass by, should at least try doing it once.
Rehearsals have yet to start but I'm excited to learn from others and at the same time, meet more competent musicians.
It would be a good music exchange for me! And for now. this is life.
For those who does follow my blog... I just want to say I'm still alive!
Everything has been fine! This semester has been rather hectic but fun.
School, Work, Band. Did abit of tutoring for some band kids too, really enjoyed myself!
Time flies... Few days ago, I was still complaining about the dreaded exams.
And now, it's finally over! 3.5 months break awaits me :)
Was comtemplating whether to join an Euphonium gig previously.
Somewhere inside me told myself I shouldn't let chances like this pass by, should at least try doing it once.
Rehearsals have yet to start but I'm excited to learn from others and at the same time, meet more competent musicians.
It would be a good music exchange for me! And for now. this is life.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
thoughts
as much as I refuse to admit.
我真的很在乎别人对我的想法。
even if it's one small comment.
that being said, am feeling abit feverish. hope a good sleep will get me back and bouncing.
note to self: you must not fall sick at this critical period of time. push on!
我真的很在乎别人对我的想法。
even if it's one small comment.
that being said, am feeling abit feverish. hope a good sleep will get me back and bouncing.
note to self: you must not fall sick at this critical period of time. push on!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Realization
Pissed - Haven't used this word for a long time.
After all the incidents that've happened in the past.
I realised something about myself today.
I no longer want to be the person I was anymore.
The victim who always takes in all sorts of nonsense by himself and swallows it down on his own.
The victim who gets put down easily by other people.
The victim who easily gets emotional blackmailed by others.
The victim who gets taken advantage of.
On Wednesday, I got accused for something I have not even done. In the past, I would probably close one eye and let things pass, but not yesterday. I lashed back at my friend. I realized I wasn't looking for an apology. But the fact that I can't let myself take in nonsense which I don't think I deserve in the first place. On Thursday, I got stood up by my friend. I'm not pissed at the fact that I got stood up. But the fact that I'm being treated like a fool, waiting for someone only to know that a free ride back home seems to be more important than keeping an appointment. Likewise, I didn't let this incident pass by without expressing how I felt.
This is so unlike me. I seemed to have created a protective mechanism subconsciously. Perhaps it's age catching up on me or perhaps I've suffered too much shit in the past resulting in me getting less and less tolerant over stuffs that get on my nerves. What a bad way to end my school week. I need to focus on work tomorrow, audit is nearing!
On Wednesday, I got accused for something I have not even done. In the past, I would probably close one eye and let things pass, but not yesterday. I lashed back at my friend. I realized I wasn't looking for an apology. But the fact that I can't let myself take in nonsense which I don't think I deserve in the first place. On Thursday, I got stood up by my friend. I'm not pissed at the fact that I got stood up. But the fact that I'm being treated like a fool, waiting for someone only to know that a free ride back home seems to be more important than keeping an appointment. Likewise, I didn't let this incident pass by without expressing how I felt.
This is so unlike me. I seemed to have created a protective mechanism subconsciously. Perhaps it's age catching up on me or perhaps I've suffered too much shit in the past resulting in me getting less and less tolerant over stuffs that get on my nerves. What a bad way to end my school week. I need to focus on work tomorrow, audit is nearing!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
I Wear Black Glasses!
Sorry for neglecting this blog. Have been super busy with school work. A little song for everyone who loves to wear black glasses! :) <3 Angela Aki!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
someone to raise me up?
Less than 30 days to Esplanade performance.
I'm so dead! I want to put up a good solo for my friends but I don't know if I can make it this time.
Really have no time to practice!
"You Raise Me Up" isn't a very hard piece to play.
But then again, I don't have the stamina and skills that I used to have in the past.
Let's just hope everything will turn out fine.
Even though I've performed a couple of solos in the past, the stress and anxiety still gets into me.
Trying very hard to loosen up that stress and "tightness" in the tone quality when you see everyone staring at you as you perform.
*Sigh* Guess only performers will understand my feeling. :(
Sunday, January 08, 2012
Pets & Me
I have a very weak defense against cute little things. It has always been an issue. And today, I bumped into this pure white breed cat. It was so cute and pretty! My heart immediately melted when it started following me back home. I couldn't help but snapped pictures of this cute little ball of fur.
This little incident reminded me why I can't have pets. These little beings generally have a shorter life span and I can't stand the fact that I have to experience "departure" when their time is up. Devastating. Having to experience someone leaving is already painful, much less death.
I still remembered my relatives leaving their doggie in my family for 2 weeks while they were on a trip. My defenses towards the doggie were kept high at all times despite its intelligence and adorability. I ensured that I maintained minimal interaction with it while I was at home. My mum took care of it even though she was afraid of dogs. I guessed she managed to overcome her fear in that short span of time. I remembered how it wagged its tail whenever I came back home. It always exuded exuberance and those eyes, let's not even go there...
I was taken aback and my defenses were a little shaken whenever it did that. But I was rational enough to do what I think was "right" at that point of time. Those 2 weeks were rather surreal. Honestly, I felt a tinge of sadness when it left our family. I purposely kept myself in the room and never said goodbye to it. Couldn't imagine how sad I would be if I started to develop feelings for it.
And later on, I realised my relatives sent that doggie away because they couldn't commit. I was rather furious when I heard the news. If they can't take care of it, why bother to bring it home in the first place? Bunch of irresponsible people.
Doggie, I wonder where are you now?
Stop using those eyes to stare at me! Shooooo~~~ >_<
This little incident reminded me why I can't have pets. These little beings generally have a shorter life span and I can't stand the fact that I have to experience "departure" when their time is up. Devastating. Having to experience someone leaving is already painful, much less death.
I still remembered my relatives leaving their doggie in my family for 2 weeks while they were on a trip. My defenses towards the doggie were kept high at all times despite its intelligence and adorability. I ensured that I maintained minimal interaction with it while I was at home. My mum took care of it even though she was afraid of dogs. I guessed she managed to overcome her fear in that short span of time. I remembered how it wagged its tail whenever I came back home. It always exuded exuberance and those eyes, let's not even go there...
I was taken aback and my defenses were a little shaken whenever it did that. But I was rational enough to do what I think was "right" at that point of time. Those 2 weeks were rather surreal. Honestly, I felt a tinge of sadness when it left our family. I purposely kept myself in the room and never said goodbye to it. Couldn't imagine how sad I would be if I started to develop feelings for it.
And later on, I realised my relatives sent that doggie away because they couldn't commit. I was rather furious when I heard the news. If they can't take care of it, why bother to bring it home in the first place? Bunch of irresponsible people.
Doggie, I wonder where are you now?
Stop using those eyes to stare at me! Shooooo~~~ >_<
Friday, January 06, 2012
Goodbye Holidays
School's starting next Monday and I asked myself this question... "Did I truly enjoy those moments?" I supposed I did. I really hoped the holidays were a tad longer though. I still have many things I want to do. Nevertheless, I'm grateful I was able to meet up with some of my close friends. Lots of thoughts hovering in my mind and sometimes, words are just not a good medium to express them. Penning down these thoughts might seem to be too great a deal. I shall leave this tumultuous task to my memory doing the 'saving'. Just let me enjoy the last few days happily. No nonsense, no nothing. Period.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)