Life

Been months since I last blogged.
For those who does follow my blog... I just want to say I'm still alive!
Everything has been fine! This semester has been rather hectic but fun.
School, Work, Band. Did abit of tutoring for some band kids too, really enjoyed myself!
Time flies... Few days ago, I was still complaining about the dreaded exams.
And now, it's finally over! 3.5 months break awaits me :)
Was comtemplating whether to join an Euphonium gig previously.
Somewhere inside me told myself I shouldn't let chances like this pass by, should at least try doing it once.
Rehearsals have yet to start but I'm excited to learn from others and at the same time, meet more competent musicians.
It would be a good music exchange for me! And for now. this is life.

thoughts

as much as I refuse to admit.
我真的很在乎别人对我的想法。
even if it's one small comment.
that being said, am feeling abit feverish. hope a good sleep will get me back and bouncing.

note to self: you must not fall sick at this critical period of time. push on!

Realization

Pissed - Haven't used this word for a long time. After all the incidents that've happened in the past. I realised something about myself today. I no longer want to be the person I was anymore. The victim who always takes in all sorts of nonsense by himself and swallows it down on his own. The victim who gets put down easily by other people. The victim who easily gets emotional blackmailed by others. The victim who gets taken advantage of.

On Wednesday, I got accused for something I have not even done. In the past, I would probably close one eye and let things pass, but not yesterday. I lashed back at my friend. I realized I wasn't looking for an apology. But the fact that I can't let myself take in nonsense which I don't think I deserve in the first place. On Thursday, I got stood up by my friend. I'm not pissed at the fact that I got stood up. But the fact that I'm being treated like a fool, waiting for someone only to know that a free ride back home seems to be more important than keeping an appointment. Likewise, I didn't let this incident pass by without expressing how I felt.

This is so unlike me. I seemed to have created a protective mechanism subconsciously. Perhaps it's age catching up on me or perhaps I've suffered too much shit in the past resulting in me getting less and less tolerant over stuffs that get on my nerves. What a bad way to end my school week. I need to focus on work tomorrow, audit is nearing!

I Wear Black Glasses!

Sorry for neglecting this blog. Have been super busy with school work. A little song for everyone who loves to wear black glasses! :)  <3 Angela Aki!



                                

someone to raise me up?

Less than 30 days to Esplanade performance. I'm so dead! I want to put up a good solo for my friends but I don't know if I can make it this time. Really have no time to practice! "You Raise Me Up" isn't a very hard piece to play. But then again, I don't have the stamina and skills that I used to have in the past. Let's just hope everything will turn out fine. Even though I've performed a couple of solos in the past, the stress and anxiety still gets into me. Trying very hard to loosen up that stress and "tightness" in the tone quality when you see everyone staring at you as you perform. *Sigh* Guess only performers will understand my feeling. :(

Pets & Me

I have a very weak defense against cute little things. It has always been an issue. And today, I bumped into this pure white breed cat. It was so cute and pretty! My heart immediately melted when it started following me back home. I couldn't help but snapped pictures of this cute little ball of fur.

This little incident reminded me why I can't have pets. These little beings generally have a shorter life span and I can't stand the fact that I have to experience "departure" when their time is up. Devastating. Having to experience someone leaving is already painful, much less death.

I still remembered my relatives leaving their doggie in my family for 2 weeks while they were on a trip. My defenses towards the doggie were kept high at all times despite its intelligence and adorability. I ensured that I maintained minimal interaction with it while I was at home. My mum took care of it even though she was afraid of dogs. I guessed she managed to overcome her fear in that short span of time. I remembered how it wagged its tail whenever I came back home. It always exuded exuberance and those eyes, let's not even go there...

I was taken aback and my defenses were a little shaken whenever it did that. But I was rational enough to do what I think was "right" at that point of time. Those 2 weeks were rather surreal. Honestly, I felt a tinge of sadness when it left our family. I purposely kept myself in the room and never said goodbye to it. Couldn't imagine how sad I would be if I started to develop feelings for it.

And later on, I realised my relatives sent that doggie away because they couldn't commit. I was rather furious when I heard the news. If they can't take care of it, why bother to bring it home in the first place? Bunch of irresponsible people.

Doggie, I wonder where are you now?

Stop using those eyes to stare at me! Shooooo~~~ >_<

Goodbye Holidays

School's starting next Monday and I asked myself this question... "Did I truly enjoy those moments?" I supposed I did. I really hoped the holidays were a tad longer though. I still have many things I want to do. Nevertheless, I'm grateful I was able to meet up with some of my close friends. Lots of thoughts hovering in my mind and sometimes, words are just not a good medium to express them. Penning down these thoughts might seem to be too great a deal. I shall leave this tumultuous task to my memory doing the 'saving'. Just let me enjoy the last few days happily. No nonsense, no nothing. Period.

koko

And that's where the heart lies...

New Year Resolution?

What's your previous new year resolution?
Honestly, I can't remember mine.
I don't see the point of setting any new year resolutions if I can't remember the previous one.
So let the new year be a year filled with unknowns, uncertainties with lots of highs and lows.

So... Do you remember yours? ;)

To Curious Girl

Thank you for your comments. I'm glad you like the music I've chosen in my blog. :) Angela Aki is one of my favourite japanese artist of all times. I have a number of songs which I can recommend but it would be too many to list. I will probably recommend you some songs in time to come. ;)

I'm a Singaporean and I'm bilingual. Fluent in both English and Chinese. Honestly, I did not expect anyone to leave a comment on my blog. Guess this blog is getting more and more "followers" eh? And to your question, I do celebrate Christmas even though Singapore doesn't snow. Haha! You write good English. Would be glad to know which country you come from.

Bin

Halfway

I wonder why am I doing all this... This may be the first and also the last time. It seems like I'm working so hard just to make others happy. Perhaps seeing other people happy makes me feel the same. I should probably go to sleep. I'm only halfway done. I need to do faster before the release of results kills off my mood. Hope I finish everything quick!

Julia Roberts

Have been watching alot of productions by Julia Roberts and Erin Brockovich has to be one of her best! Such an awesome movie and it's actually based on a true story. Defintely a kickass film!

Time

Tick Tock Tick Tock~

Time is running out. What now?

Runaway Bride

Indeed interesting to see an interplay between lost souls.
How surprising can one compliment another so well, knowing what's best for them.
Extravagent marriages are nothing but a novelty.
What's most important is having the right person - one who not only goes down the isle with you, but being there for you for the rest of your life.
Consider it learnt.

那些年

the movie really left a residual effect in me.
now i'm feeling incoherent.
I should probably turn in for the day.
things are happening too fast.
starting work tomorrow.

命苦也是一种约束

life

a constant struggle to live the life one endeavours
but in vain when one finds nothing more
in search of an everlasting love
till one finds death at the end of the road
ambivalence; but an euphemistic way of preventing one from getting hurt
deep "blues"; a subliminal expression to signify the resonance of the heart

When The Clock Striked 4.30pm

I know I still have one more paper left.
But I couldn't help but express the excitement I had after SN1101e ended.
Have to admit I have been rather slack these days. Oh Wells~
The test comprised of 3 sections, 3 questions allocated to each section and we were supposed to answer 1 question each. We were told to study at least 3 chapters for each section but lazy me, I did 2 chapters only.
I was kinda afraid to be caught in the situation whereby:-

1)Of the 2 chapters I studied, only 1 question came out
2)If (1) were to happen, I would have no choice but to do that question
3)What if I didn't know how to answer the only question I studied

That would kinda be a LPPL situation right?! Actually, I kinda gave up studying the day before the exam (technically it's the same day as the exam since I stopped studying at 2.30am). I had enough in remembering the names of the politicians, the prominent dates that were the turning points of the countries as well as their socio-political ideas.

No more Gandhi, no more Nehru, no more Jinnah, no more Ali Bhutto, no more Zia ul-Haq, no more Ziaur Rahman, no more Hari Singh, no more King Tribhuvan, no more Mayawati, no more Indira Gandhi, no more princely states, no more weird state/province names, no more Varna & Jati groups, no more Nepal, Sri Lanka, India, Pakistan & Bangladesh, no more federation to confederation, no more feudalism to secularism, no more riots and communal violence, no more weird pacts formed between the political leaders, no more comparison between India & China, no more Indian diaspora, no more Bollywood movies and the effects it had on the society, no more Muhajirs, Biharis, Sindhis & etc... NO MORE!!!

I'm just glad that I could do all 3 sections. But 3 essays in 2 hours is a tad insane. It's OVER and that's all it matters!
THANK ALL THE DEITIES IN THE HEAVEN! THANK YOU!

P.S. My 500th Post. I've come a long way haven't I?

悲しい気持ち (Just A Man In Love)

I remembered how this song accompanied me through my toughest times. It was on single-repeat mode for quite a long period of time. The fast-paced rhythms and bright tunes might have suggested happiness and liveliness but it is not true. The lyrics are rather sad...

夏の女神に 最後の kissを
抱き合うたび溶けそうな瞬間にお別れoh
夢で逢えたら あの日に帰ろう
夜空に舞う星に 願いをこめて
Just a man in love Ohyeah.
涙に濡れて
Just a man in love Ohyeah.
心に咲く花は君の香り

やがて誰かと 恋におちても
胸に残る言葉は 消えないままに
泣くのはやめて 愛しい女性よ
君のことを今も 忘れられない
Just a man in love Ohyeah.
悲しみの My Heart
Just a man in love Ohyeah.
愛されたあの頃が 遠ざかる

Anyone would be holdin' on.
夏は終り 夜風に身を病んで
I won't lose if I just have you.
いついつまでも君は My sweet babe.

Just a man in love Oh yeah.
涙に濡れて
Just a man in love Oh yeah.
悲しみの My Heart
Wow Wow Wow.
Just a man in love Oh yeah.
またいつか逢えたなら
Hold me close to you.

Perhaps having exam dates that's too widely spread may not be such a good idea after all. I'm getting more and more restless as the days go by. I should probably try to do something different, like watch a movie alone. It might not be such a bad idea after all.

I'm not lonely, I'm just alone.

Can't Remember

There's this childhood song that suddenly struck my mind and it has been sticking there since afternoon. I can't remember the title of the song. I tried to search for it online but to no avail. Any idea anyone?

The chorus is

开心开心真开心
开心开心大家开心